All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In the digital technology era, science subjects such as math or physics are becoming more prevalent than ever. Other subjects such as art and music seem to become less prioritized and few students decide to learn art and music as their main subjects. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the view that students should be encouraged to study art and music in secondary school.
Firstly, art and music are among the best ways to reduce stress and anxiety after school. Learning math or physics at school makes pupils tired, so drawing or listening to music can calm the mind. Teachers can hold a 10-minute painting competition or singing practice to help students relax and reduce stress. In addition, this short break puts students’ minds at ease, which helps them learn well in the next subjects. Secondly, art and music can improve communication and opportunities for socialization. If there are no art and music in secondary school, students will only focus on learning and forget making friends. Therefore, organizing an art group or music group for students can help them connect with others and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
In addition, drawing pictures or playing the piano can help students improve their mood. In secondary school, pupils are often pressured by families, grades, and peers. If students feel lethargic, they can participate in artistic exercises to make them happier and more optimistic. Ultimately, both art and music can improve brain function. Art will improve students’ visualization and memorization processes during painting. While music helps pupils learn and recall information better through memorizing music notes. Overall, if students engage artistic activities, they will have a good memory and learn better.
In conclusion, art and music are indispensable parts of students’ life. I believe that art and music should be soon introduced in secondary schools.
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- The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads from 2004 to 2012 78
- The diagrams show changes in a student common room 78
- The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three different years who said they were interested in certain sports 67
- The pie charts show the size of classes in primary schools in four states in Australia in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant 67
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 267, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
... as their main subjects. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the view that stude...
^
Line 2, column 510, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[5]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'there are no arts'?
Suggestion: there are no arts
...and opportunities for socialization. If there are no art and music in secondary school, students...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 72, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
... indispensable parts of students’ life. I believe that art and music should be so...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 10.4138276553 259% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 3.0 7.30460921844 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 24.0651302605 54% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 41.998997996 71% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1616.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 304.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31578947368 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76095620304 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 176.041082164 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555921052632 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 484.2 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 21.9061205224 49.4020404114 44% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.0526315789 106.682146367 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 20.7667163134 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 7.06120827912 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311542933118 0.244688304435 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114285648624 0.084324248473 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103354163774 0.0667982634062 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.232050044084 0.151304729494 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0668816406701 0.056905535591 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 50.2224549098 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.28 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 78.4519038076 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.