Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands were extinct. Previous archaeological findings have suggested that early humans generally relied on both fishing and hunting for food; since archaeologists have discovered numerous sites in the Kaliko Islands where the bones of fish were discarded, it is likely that the humans also hunted the mammals. Furthermore, researchers have uncovered simple tools, such as stone knives, that could be used for hunting. The only clear explanation is that humans caused the extinction of the various mammal species through excessive hunting.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument indicates that human beings bring the doom to the mammals in Kaliko by providing some pieces of evidence: the extinction of large mammals after the advent of human beings and people hunt the mammal to death. However, there are many other alternatives which might also cause the same result, the extinction of the mammals.
First of all, the author contends that the colossal mammal extinct after 3,000 years of humans coming. Nevertheless, there is no causation between the mammal extinction and human arrival. 3,000 years is a so long term that can include the global climate change. It is possible that within the 3,000 years, the global climate changed, and the weather of Kaliko Islands does not a suitable habitat for giant mammals. Then, the giant mammals died naturally without the hazard of humans.
Secondly, the writer mentions that humans could hunt the mammals according to the research and discover of fish bones. Nonetheless, there is no direct relation between humans hunting and the mammals are prey. Probably, the humans and the extinct mammals hunt for the same prey. If they compete for the same food resource, one side might lose their food resource and then gradually die. Therefore, the mammals might unfortunately be the loser in the competition of the food resource, fish. In this way, the death of giant mammals is because they lack food, but not they are prey.
Finally, the argument asserts that the discovered implements, knives, could demonstrate that the humans have the ability to hunt, and they hunt the mammal so many that causing the extinction. Notwithstanding, there is no obvious connection between capable to hunt and excessive hunt. The arrival of people might change the whole ecosystem of Kaliko Islands. Perhaps, people in Kaliko have knives and they can cut down trees to construct their shelters. The colossal mammals might lose their habitat since the trees are gone and the forests are damaged. The giant mammals might not adapt a new lifestyle without trees and forests, and as a result, they disappeared in Kaliko.
In the conclusion, the humans hunt the giant mammals so excessively that they extinct as the end might not be the sole answer. There are many different ways which could also cause the extinction, such as climate change, food resource competing, and ecosystem change.
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flaws:
This is a new GRE essay topic which is different to traditional topics:
'Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.'
So we can't use the same format as other essays. The correct format is like this:
argument 1 -- one alternative explanation is that: ...
argument 2 -- one alternative explanation is that: ...
argument 3 -- one alternative explanation is that: ...
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read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/humans-arrived-kali…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1904 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.364 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.448 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5