The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
"Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic. But last year's addition of a lane to the nearby Green Highway was followed by a worsening of traffic jams on it. A better alternative is to add a bicycle lane to Blue Highway. Many area residents are keen bicyclists. A bicycle lane would encourage them to use bicycles to commute, and so would reduce rush-hour traffic rather than fostering an increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The commuting time between suburbs and the city center has doubled because of increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway. While the favored proposal of the motorists’ lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic, the editor of a local newspaper received a letter, where the author opposes the first suggestion and provides an another option. However, he fails to provide necessary evidences, which are required to make the final conclusions.
First of all, the letter’s author takes an example of nearby Green Highway, where last year’s addition of a lane was followed by a worsening of traffic jams on it. But he doesn’t consider any other factor, which might influence the situation. Since an additional lane is the most obvious way to increase highway throughput and so to decrease the commuting time, it’s important to understand why it only made the situation worse in case of Green Highway and how the same factor or factors could be applied in the Blue Highway situation.
The proposed solution also needs to be supported by an additional evidence. The author doesn’t provide any information on how comfortable are area residents to use bicycles to commute. Even though they are keen bicyclists, the everyday bicycle commute might not be a convenient option - the route overall could be too long, there might be too many hills on the way to the city center or the air could be polluted by cars from the highway. Additional information is required here to get an idea how popular the new bicycle lane would be and how would it reduce the rush-hour traffic.
Finally, it’s important to understand why the rush-hour traffic has increased and consider other factors rather than ones mentioned in the letter. It’s possible that some nearby highway got closed and its traffic has moved to Blue Highway or some public transport routes got cancelled forcing people to drive to the city center by themselves. Both mentioned solutions might have a little effect, if they don’t target the original problem. That’s why the author should consider the factors which lead to increased rush-hour traffic.
While the suggestion might work out in the end, reducing the commute time, the author is well advised to provide more information and consider other possible factors. It’s hard to make any conclusion now, since additional evidences listed above could weaken or strengthen the argument.
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Sentence: While the favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic, the editor of a local newspaper received a letter, where the author opposes the first suggestion and provides an another option.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to an and another
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.528 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.822 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5