TPO24- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of preparing children for living in the future as the adults. Some people may hold the opinion that it is better to encourage teenage children to take part-time job because they will be more prepare for adult life. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, if you let your child to experiences part-time job, this decision brings more responsibilties, wider knowledge and higher communication skills. My reasons and samples listed more precisely below and will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look what a teenage can typically gain from a working. Doing job needs responsibility while playing in the house does not need responsibility. It goes without saying that, people in adult life confront with many difficulties and problems that they have to solve these problems solely. Although there are other people that one adult can uses their helps, anyone needs enough responsibility to deal with difficalties with his own ability because it is his problem not other's problem.
There is also a more subtle point we must consider. In fact, children by study in the schools only learn theorical facts and it is not sufficient for them in the modern life. Needless to say, if the student engages in one part-time job, he has a good opportunity to be femiliar with many other ideas and concepts that will be useful for him.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that working out of house also means having more communications with other people. To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran University, Adults who had a job during their childhood have more ability in communicate with other peoples because when they had to work as a worker in their childhood, they need to be relate with many peoples. So, in the adulthood they have better life than who does not participate in any job.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some esceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of encouraging childern to take a part-time job are very considerable. Thus I advice everyone who has a child, encourage him to works part-time.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-11-23 | HSNDEK | 73 | view |
| 2022-10-12 | MaroofOA | 70 | view |
| 2022-10-12 | MaroofOA | 70 | view |
| 2022-09-26 | alishadean | 40 | view |
| 2022-09-09 | Ibne Arabi | 70 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
they will be more prepare for adult life.
they will be more prepared for adult life.
Sentence: Although there are other people that one adult can uses their helps, anyone needs enough responsibility to deal with difficalties with his own ability because it is his problem not other's problem.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and uses
have more ability in communicate with other peoples
have more ability to communicate with other people
everyone who has a child, encourage him to works part-time.
Description: 'him' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
Sentence: As far as I am concerned, obviously, if you let your child to experiences part-time job, this decision brings more responsibilties, wider knowledge and higher communication skills.
Error: part-time Suggestion: part time
Error: responsibilties Suggestion: responsibilities
Sentence: Although there are other people that one adult can uses their helps, anyone needs enough responsibility to deal with difficalties with his own ability because it is his problem not other's problem.
Error: difficalties Suggestion: difficulties
Sentence: In fact, children by study in the schools only learn theorical facts and it is not sufficient for them in the modern life.
Error: theorical Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Needless to say, if the student engages in one part-time job, he has a good opportunity to be femiliar with many other ideas and concepts that will be useful for him.
Error: part-time Suggestion: part time
Error: femiliar Suggestion: familiar
Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some esceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of encouraging childern to take a part-time job are very considerable.
Error: childern Suggestion: children
Error: esceptions Suggestion: exceptions
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1805 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.775 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
what's the correct sentence
what's the correct sentence of my error?
Sentence: Although there are other people that one adult can uses their helps, anyone needs enough responsibility to deal with difficalties with his own ability because it is his problem not other's problem.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and uses
Thanks
one adult can uses their
one adult can uses their helps
one adult can use their helps
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 211, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... a part-time job are very considerable. Thus I advice everyone who has a child, enco...
^^^^
Line 9, column 218, Rule ID: ADVICE_ADVISE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'advise' (verb) instead of advice (noun)?
Suggestion: advise
...-time job are very considerable. Thus I advice everyone who has a child, encourage him...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'thus', 'while', 'in fact']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.224637681159 0.229887763892 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.166666666667 0.158761421928 105% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0917874396135 0.0866891130778 106% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0555555555556 0.046263068375 120% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0676328502415 0.0685040099705 99% => OK
Prepositions: 0.130434782609 0.118717715034 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0338164251208 0.0351676179071 96% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.73915323475 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0338164251208 0.0309702414327 109% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0772946859903 0.0887237588012 87% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0217391304348 0.0209618222197 104% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0169082125604 0.0139019557991 122% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2230.0 2387.08602151 93% => OK
No of words: 378.0 408.028673835 93% => OK
Chars per words: 5.89947089947 5.86048508987 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.322751322751 0.338922669872 95% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.238095238095 0.251872472559 95% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.169312169312 0.174417080927 97% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.111111111111 0.112833075102 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73915323475 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.568783068783 0.524397521467 108% => OK
Word variations: 65.3462550862 59.2087087015 110% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6684587814 82% => OK
Sentence length: 22.2352941176 20.5533526081 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.0240006901 48.84282405 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.176470588 120.699889404 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2352941176 20.5533526081 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.647058823529 0.644075263715 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 46.0448179272 45.7405998639 101% => OK
Elegance: 1.34166666667 1.45489161554 92% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.420705711033 0.300154397459 140% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0721457478608 0.103427244359 70% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0597867033528 0.0752933317313 79% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.491818808936 0.497263757937 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.19047915771 0.151897553556 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.138618819829 0.114077575197 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0933205995093 0.0781384742642 119% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.226864936845 0.336927656856 67% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0664346973209 0.067059652881 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.257884527599 0.210909579961 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0525819603673 0.0618886996521 85% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.86379928315 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 8.42114695341 95% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.