TPO44-
Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of spending time with children by parents especially when parents are too busy and they do not have enough free time. Some people may hold the opinion that it is essential for parents who do not have adequate time for spending with their children to have fun with children during their free time. But others have negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, children need enough fun with their parents so it is better for parents to use their time for have a fun with children. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a child typically want from their parents. Surely, they need happiness. It goes without saying that if we force our child to do his homework in our free time rather than paly with him, we do not bring any happiness for them. By way of illustration, when I was a child my mother usually went to the work most time of the day and I only meet her two hour in a day. As I remmeber from that time, I excepted my mom to play with me because I needed good and happy moments but she always worked on my school work. So, I had a great sad in my childhood.
There is also a more subtle point to consider. During the play children can learn many courses too. Needless to say, many edcational research suggest to teach children with paly. Thus, if parents spend their time with fun and play with children, they can reach to two goals and help them in many schoolworks when they play. Taking my son for example, learning new methods of education during play in my unveristy help me to play with my son in scarce time that I find in day and aim my son in schoolwork too.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact having enough fun also means more energy for children to participate in their classrooms. To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran Univeristy, students who have more fun in their home and play with their parents have better consciuosness in the class and higher social ability that let them communicate with other students. In fact, this study superisingly shows that not only these students have better communication, but also have higher grade.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are exlcluded from the general rule, I do agree that it is more beneficial for children to have fun and play with their parents rather than doing homework
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: As far as I am concerned, obviously, children need enough fun with their parents so it is better for parents to use their time for have a fun with children.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to for and have
a child typically want from their parents.
a child typically wants from their parents.
a great sad
a great sadness
Sentence: It goes without saying that if we force our child to do his homework in our free time rather than paly with him, we do not bring any happiness for them.
Error: paly Suggestion: pay
Sentence: As I remmeber from that time, I excepted my mom to play with me because I needed good and happy moments but she always worked on my school work.
Error: remmeber Suggestion: remember
Sentence: Needless to say, many edcational research suggest to teach children with paly.
Error: edcational Suggestion: educational
Error: paly Suggestion: pay
Sentence: Taking my son for example, learning new methods of education during play in my unveristy help me to play with my son in scarce time that I find in day and aim my son in schoolwork too.
Error: unveristy Suggestion: university
Error: schoolwork Suggestion: school work
Sentence: To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran Univeristy, students who have more fun in their home and play with their parents have better consciuosness in the class and higher social ability that let them communicate with other students.
Error: consciuosness Suggestion: consciousness
Sentence: In fact, this study superisingly shows that not only these students have better communication, but also have higher grade.
Error: superisingly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are exlcluded from the general rule, I do agree that it is more beneficial for children to have fun and play with their parents rather than doing homework
Error: exlcluded Suggestion: excluded
flaws:
The essay is a little bit off the topic. It is '...playing games or sports.', not just have fun.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 1984 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.429 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.322 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.192 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 143, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggest teaching'.
Suggestion: suggest teaching
...edless to say, many edcational research suggest to teach children with paly. Thus, if parents sp...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'thus', 'for example', 'in fact']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.225872689938 0.229887763892 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.158110882957 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0718685831622 0.0866891130778 83% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0718685831622 0.046263068375 155% => OK
Pronouns: 0.106776180698 0.0685040099705 156% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.139630390144 0.118717715034 118% => OK
Participles: 0.0246406570842 0.0351676179071 70% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.40624171745 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0308008213552 0.0309702414327 99% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0533880903491 0.0887237588012 60% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0123203285421 0.0209618222197 59% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0164271047228 0.0139019557991 118% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2483.0 2387.08602151 104% => OK
No of words: 448.0 408.028673835 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.54241071429 5.86048508987 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48200974243 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.265625 0.338922669872 78% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.1875 0.251872472559 74% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.136160714286 0.174417080927 78% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.078125 0.112833075102 69% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40624171745 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493303571429 0.524397521467 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 55.7378287383 59.2087087015 94% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6684587814 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.4 20.5533526081 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.8691126401 48.84282405 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.15 120.699889404 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4 20.5533526081 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.55 0.644075263715 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 41.15 45.7405998639 90% => OK
Elegance: 1.15853658537 1.45489161554 80% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.408603276949 0.300154397459 136% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0978700460653 0.103427244359 95% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.090910145329 0.0752933317313 121% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.484959586649 0.497263757937 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.230354104557 0.151897553556 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135922287356 0.114077575197 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.099758693845 0.0781384742642 128% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.293509454767 0.336927656856 87% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0274288341165 0.067059652881 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.270068332985 0.210909579961 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0783901192466 0.0618886996521 127% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 11.0 8.42114695341 131% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 13.6433691756 110% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.