The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo has presented the threshold reason, which is fatigue, explained by experts to recommend that shorter work time should be imposed in order to lower the accident rate of Alta Manufacturing. The claim seems to be eloquent at first glance, but after close scrutiny, it reveals some logical flaws.
To begin with, the data regarding the on-the-job accidents only exudes the situation last year and it doesn’t articulate the conditions in the past three or five years, which can draw a more persuasive conclusion that working in Alta Manufacturing is much more dangerous than working in other firms. Without such information, the higher accident rate last year may just be an exceptional situation. Thus, the decision of cutting down each work shift’s time is untenable and need to be reconsidered.
Moreover, the conclusion given by the experts is also refutable. We all know that many manufacturing factories have sophisticated machines which need professional skills and knowledge to operate. It is entirely possible that the frequently happened accidents are because of the incompetent qualification of workers. Therefore, unless the experts figure out concrete evidence that fatigue is the most likely reason to result in the high accident rate, I will not be convinced by the mere conclusion made by them.
Finally, even if fatigue is the culprit to cause more manufacturing accidents, reducing working time will not guarantee the workers have sufficient sleep at night. Less working time means workers can have more leisure time which they are more likely to spend in entertainment, such as watching movies and tame TV shows, instead of getting to bed early. Therefore, the less working time may even lead to the less sleeping time, as they sometimes are addicted with the TV programs. By contrast, if they continue to work for regular hours, they can maintain a healthy lifestyle to have adequate amounts of sleep, because they are too tired to conduct other recreational activities after a day’s work.
In sum, to bolster the claim that reducing working time will lower the accident rate, the vice president need to work out more investigations regarding the accident rate in a longer period and specific causes that result the higher accident rate. In this way, it will make the decision of shortening working time more reasonable.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
... be eloquent at first glance, but after close scrutiny, it reveals some logical flaws. To b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 436, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are sometimes
...lead to the less sleeping time, as they sometimes are addicted with the TV programs. By contr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'regarding', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'such as', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.22969837587 0.25644967241 90% => OK
Verbs: 0.174013921114 0.15541462614 112% => OK
Adjectives: 0.118329466357 0.0836205057962 142% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0533642691415 0.0520304965353 103% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0278422273782 0.0272364105082 102% => OK
Prepositions: 0.0974477958237 0.125424944231 78% => OK
Participles: 0.0556844547564 0.0416121511921 134% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.85665365397 2.79052419416 102% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0371229698376 0.026700313972 139% => OK
Particles: 0.00696055684455 0.001811407834 384% => OK
Determiners: 0.092807424594 0.113004496875 82% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0255220417633 0.0255425247493 100% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0116009280742 0.0127820249294 91% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2367.0 2731.13054187 87% => OK
No of words: 381.0 446.07635468 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.2125984252 6.12365571057 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.57801047555 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.370078740157 0.378187486979 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.307086614173 0.287650121315 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.220472440945 0.208842608468 106% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.146981627297 0.135150697306 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85665365397 2.79052419416 102% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 207.018472906 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54593175853 0.469332199767 116% => OK
Word variations: 61.2731568433 52.1807786196 117% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.039408867 75% => OK
Sentence length: 25.4 23.2022227129 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.4272793939 57.7814097925 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.8 141.986410481 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4 23.2022227129 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.866666666667 0.724660767414 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 56.1086614173 51.9672348444 108% => OK
Elegance: 1.5 1.8405768891 81% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.376402600515 0.441005458295 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.110878887722 0.135418324435 82% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0757447100816 0.0829849096947 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.600329360919 0.58762219726 102% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.157755203742 0.147661913831 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.163260493763 0.193483328276 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0972400804987 0.0970749176394 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.346800951124 0.42659136922 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.057688454325 0.0774707102158 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263743713426 0.312017818177 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069688026593 0.0698173142475 100% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.33743842365 36% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 3.0 6.46551724138 46% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 5.36822660099 149% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 14.657635468 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.