The city committee set a ten-year budget plan which proposes to cut funding for education while increase budget for adult recreational facilities. To support this budget plan a projection about the population of students will enroll in the local public school is made merely based on a comparison of birthrate between last year and five years ago. Similarly, another estimate about a growth of adult population bolster the suggestion to establish more programs primarily for adults. In my opinion, the lack of more concrete evidence to support the prediction of population constitution as well as the ambiguity of issues directly impact on school enrollment and recreational facilities makes the whole recommendation not convincing.
First of all, the only cited fact that the birthrate is dropping compared to 5 years ago does not predict the population trend for the next decade. Chances are that birthrate could go up dramatically from next year, which would boost the number of future pupils. Therefore, more evidences are needed to corroborate the projection about population of the next decade.
Furthermore, even a hypothetical declining birthrate does not suggest the students enrolled in public school in the next decade would fall dramatically. Because there are plenty of factors contribute to the enrollment rates. For example, the number of students enrolled in public school could be influenced by not only the domestic young people population, but also by people from nearby towns. It is possible that the student enrolled in the local school are partly from outside of the city, like from nearby area, which could trigger an increase in local school enrollments in the future. Besides, it is also possible that more parents with kids who would be attend the local public school migrate to this city in the next decade. Likewise, the competition between public school and private school would have impact on the number of students in public school, too. Therefore, in order to draw the conclusion about the student number for public school in next 10 years, the speaker obviously need to offer more evidence directly impact the school enrollment, like the possible factors discussed above.
In terms of the forecast about relatively increasing population of adults, it is also an unconvincing prediction due to an absence of more concrete evidences. In fact, this author failed to cite any evidence about why there would be more adults in the city whatsoever. Just because the falling of birthrates does not mean the increase number of adults. Furthermore, even if the proportion of adults are growing gradually, it is still not reasonable to assume they would need more programs and facilities which are designed primarily for adults, considering we don’t know if there are already plenty of these which probably haven’t been used fully. It is possible that more there programs would simply be a waste of funding if they won’t be put into use. Thus evidences about the current situation of established programs for adults are needed, as well as detailed issues which could affect the usage of relevant facilities and programs.
To conclude, there need more evidence to support the projection about population of the city as well as issues which could directly impact the proposed projects.
- The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. 84
- The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.*includes French, German and Spanish 73
- Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and include your opinion, supported by examples. 89
- Nowadays, more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? 89
- The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. 78
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 154, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he next decade would fall dramatically. Because there are plenty of factors contribute ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, furthermore, if, likewise, similarly, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, in fact, as well as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 33.0505617978 54% => OK
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 12.9106741573 217% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2801.0 2235.4752809 125% => OK
No of words: 534.0 442.535393258 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24531835206 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74819927934 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438202247191 0.4932671777 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 883.8 704.065955056 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.740449438202 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.2022050892 60.3974514979 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.380952381 118.986275619 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4285714286 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.95238095238 5.21951772744 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203170486761 0.243740707755 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689514940658 0.0831039109588 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.074790178069 0.0758088955206 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125643737197 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0776911436843 0.0667264976115 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.8420337079 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 100.480337079 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 11.8971910112 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.