Without any shadow of doubt, advanced technology has brought significant number of advantages to human beings' life. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is that whether it is valid that currently we have easier life or not. Some believe that our ancestors have better and more convenient life than ours. Others, on the other hand, have different perspectives, preferring to have the current lifestyle than living in the past since modern technology has gone a long way towards making human beings’ life comfortable. As far as I am concerned, I hold the latter opinion, because advances in transportation systems and medicines and having a broad range of entertainments have caused our life more interesting and comfortable. In the following argument, some evidence is addressed to substantiate my point of view.
To start with, in the past people have a limited option of transport. These days, the means of transport have been improving and providing a comfortable and inexpensive transportation systems, such as buses, trains and mono-rail systems. In the past, people were commute using inefficiency automobiles which were emitted a considerable amount of pollution to the environment. In contrast, the advanced automobile industry are now very environmentally friendly and even some companies like Toyota offer hybrid cars which use electricity as fuel. Moreover, innovative technology and discoveries of medicines have gone a long way towards the reduction of mortality rate and have provided us to live longer. In the past, there were considerable contagious and dangerous disease and people were lost their lives because of insufficient medicines. These days, people can survive even if they are diagnosed of cancer. Saying that people in the past had better life is unjustified due to their limited access to medical treatments and inefficient transport systems. It can be clearly understood that technology has caused our life more blissful and comfortable than the life of our grandparents.
In addition, nowadays, people have more leisure time and can enjoy their life more than our ancestors could. Suffice to say that most of works have now performed by computers and there has not required to undertake physical activities to complete a job. Therefore, people can complete their job at ease and quickly which has brought a lot of spare time. There are number of entertainments such as theatre, shopping, sport events and travelling. These options were limited in the past. Nowadays, people can watch international sports events like Olympics on their 24 inch plasma televisions compared to the small black and white T.Vs of the past. They even can easily book a flight and attend the sport events. The option which is now available because of advanced and fast airplanes. Some people may say that in the past, people feel less stress and pressure compared to the level of stress which we now experience. It should be noticed that most jobs in the past were related to the agriculture and farmers were very dependent on the weather. If weather was not appropriate for crops, they might lose their lands and could not survive. With the advanced agriculture systems such as greenhouses, we now can have every kind of fruits during a year. Therefore, there were also pressure and strains in the past. These strains can be now experienced in our jobs. However, the huge number of entertainments and travel amenities have caused our life comfortable and pleasure. This explanation has undoubtedly shed the light why our current life is much more easier than the life of people in the past.
In conclusion, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, I believe that advanced technology has gone a long way towards making our life promising and more comfortable by development of airplanes, automobiles, trains, medicine and offering us outstanding entertainments. These amenities were not available for our grandparents and we should thank technology for making our life awesome.
- TPO 8 Integrated task 37
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Essay evaluation report
A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is that whether it is valid that currently we have easier life or not
A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is whether we have easier life or not
some evidence is addressed
some evidences are addressed
people were commute using inefficiency automobiles
people were commuting by using inefficiency automobiles
the advanced automobile industry are now very environmentally friendly
the advanced automobile industries are now very environmentally friendly
The option which is now available because of advanced and fast airplanes.
The option is now available because of advanced and fast airplanes.
is much more easier than the life of people in the past.
is much easier than the life of people in the past.
is much more easy than the life of people in the past.
by development of airplanes, automobiles,
by the development of airplanes, automobiles,
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2 //Read a good grammar book.
No. of Words: 644 350 //put less content, around 350 words are enough, your introduction is very wordy.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 644 350
No. of Characters: 3306 1500
No. of Different Words: 295 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.038 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.134 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.899 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 235 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 131 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 100 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.515 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.046 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.485 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.402 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Hi,
Hi,
Thank you for your proofreading. Would you please introduce me a good grammar book as I do not know. There are massive number of grammar books and truly I do not know which one is a good reference. Thanks.
Daniel
You may read this one:https:/
You may read this one:
https://books.google.ca/books?id=aSf2rQQKJAQC
in the meantime, try to submit essays daily. We will pick up your grammatical errors in the essays and then you can read the grammar books accordingly. This will improve faster.
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Your big issue is not grammar however, the biggest issue is 'a lot of content'. 'a lot of content' means the essay is not developed efficiently. So the first task to learn is: put less content, but still it can address same ideas.
How to reach that:
1. Keep this task in mind in further essays and change the writing style
2. Read essays by other users or from VOA learning English:
http://www.testbig.com/reading_and_listening
and learn from them.
3. Submit essays daily and get checked out
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Let us know if you have any other questions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'beings'' or 'being's'?
Suggestion: beings'; being's
...gnificant number of advantages to human beings life. A controversial question which is...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the works') or simply say ''most works''.
Suggestion: most of the works; most works
...ur ancestors could. Suffice to say that most of works have now performed by computers and the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 631, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Vs
...compared to the small black and white T.Vs of the past. They even can easily book ...
^^
Line 5, column 1548, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'easier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: easier
... the light why our current life is much more easier than the life of people in the past. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, even so, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, kind of, such as, to start with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 31.0 13.8261648746 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3392.0 1977.66487455 172% => OK
No of words: 643.0 407.700716846 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27527216174 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.03561760524 4.48103885553 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98197791165 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 304.0 212.727598566 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472783825816 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1067.4 618.680645161 173% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 20.6003584229 160% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6582998111 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.787878788 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4848484848 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.84848484848 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115147638649 0.236089414692 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0346569339304 0.076458572812 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0330667845225 0.0737576698707 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0825319406058 0.150856017488 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00406639000864 0.0645574589148 6% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 58.1214874552 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 86.8835125448 163% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.