2 weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still it is not ready.Write a letter to the shop complaining. Tell

Essay topics:

2 weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still it is not ready.
Write a letter to the shop complaining.
Tell what has happened and how you feel.
Ask them to repair the radio very soon or supply you with a new radio.

Dear sir,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your repairing service. Around a week ago I returned to you my radio in order to repair it. As I told your assistant the radio suddenly stopped working. I tried to sort it out, even researching on the internet, but every effort revealed to be useless.

I thought that a well known chain like yours would have fixed the problem in a very short period of time, but I think now that I was mistaken.

I am starting to feel a little bit frustrated since I haven’t received any communication from you.

It would be very nice of you to look into this matter at your earliest.

I would be grateful if you could at least supply me a new radio waiting for the other one to be repaired.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

Davide Baresi

P.S. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me on mobile phone: 333-5558342.

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Comments

flaws:
No. of Words: 145 200 (minimum 150 words)
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4

better to have 4 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion

sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 145 200
No. of Characters: 599 1000
No. of Different Words: 96 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.47 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.131 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.539 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 34 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 27 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 16 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 6 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.297 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.453 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.806 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.242 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4

We only count the words on the essay body:

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your repairing service. Around a week ago I returned to you my radio in order to repair it. As I told your assistant the radio suddenly stopped working. I tried to sort it out, even researching on the internet, but every effort revealed to be useless.

I thought that a well known chain like yours would have fixed the problem in a very short period of time, but I think now that I was mistaken.

I am starting to feel a little bit frustrated since I haven’t received any communication from you.

It would be very nice of you to look into this matter at your earliest.

I would be grateful if you could at least supply me a new radio waiting for the other one to be repaired.

I look forward to hearing from you.