The following appeared in a business magazine.
"As a result of numerous complaints of dizziness and nausea on the part of consumers of Promofoods tuna, the company requested that eight million cans of its tuna be returned for testing. Promofoods concluded that the canned tuna did not, after all, pose a health risk. This conclusion is based on tests performed on samples of the recalled cans by chemists from Promofoods; the chemists found that of the eight food chemicals most commonly blamed for causing symptoms of dizziness and nausea, five were not found in any of the tested cans. The chemists did find small amounts of the three remaining suspected chemicals but pointed out that these occur naturally in all canned foods."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether the conclusion and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to the questions would help to evaluate the conclusion.
On the suspicious of causing dizziness and nausea tuna cans of Promofoods were recalled for additional testing to check this assumption. Though the testes proved that the cans cannot cause these problems, we cannot rely upon the arguments provided in the text, because they contain logical flaws.
The major point to think about is whether the tests were accurate, and their results present relevant conclusion we can trust. From the text we know that testes were made by chemists working for Promofoods, thus the question whether they performed independent research emerges. For example, they could follow the interests of the company to protect its reputation and name that is why they could hide a part of information from publication. Thus, we need to be sure that tests were full and not made by people interested in this deal.
The following fact to look closer is that how right chemists were when they focused on finding only well-known and common causes of the deceases. It might have been more reasonable to make broader testes to find a real reason. If the amount of the 8 elements is low or it is absence at all, we still cannot claim that the product is safe. For example, the cans of the company can contain other dangerous elements which can be found in order performing more detailed tests. That is why, even if the most common cases were not found, it does not mean that the tuna cans cannot harm the health.
Moreover, the fact that the cans contain like literally all tuna cans of other companies small amounts of three elements leading to the symptoms is debatable. Since we are not provided with any detailed information on this topic, we cannot fully trust it. First, we do not know whether other cans have these elements at all, and secondly, how much they contain them. For example, indeed other companies can use these elements, but in smaller quantities than Promofoods. That is why more numbers should be provided to prove this fact.
To sum up, based on the arguments in this essay, the conclusion derived from the tests that the tuna cans do not cause dizziness and nausea lacks of strong supportive facts.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. This is not the correct way for GRE arguments. We should not think the study/survey/test itself is fake. The loopholes are something behind the study/survey/test. from:
This conclusion is based on tests performed on samples of the recalled cans by chemists from Promofoods;
we may argue:
1. whether the samples of the recalled cans are from affected cans or from randomly picked up cans
2. how big is the sample, maybe the sample is small, since there are eight million cans
argument 2 -- partly OK. from:
the chemists found that of the eight food chemicals most commonly blamed for causing symptoms of dizziness and nausea, five were not found in any of the tested cans.
we may ask:
1. It can contain other dangerous elements outside those 8 food chemicals.
2. It could be that food although contains the approved five chemicals, but they could be not within the proportions prescribed by health organization.
argument 3 -- should be put in the argument 1. from:
The chemists did find small amounts of the three remaining suspected chemicals but pointed out that these occur naturally in all canned foods.
we may argue:
it could be other factors inducing the symptoms of sickness. For example, it could be that the food becomes bad for ingestion after being mixed with external agents such as water or other food supplements fed to the pets.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1727 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.68 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.317 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.872 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 63, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ausing dizziness and nausea tuna cans of Promofoods were recalled for additional ...
^^
Line 3, column 213, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...y chemists working for Promofoods, thus the question whether they performed independent research eme...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 175, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ausea lacks of strong supportive facts.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, for example, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1781.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82655826558 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38887313287 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523035230352 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 531.0 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.5635647117 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 104.764705882 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7058823529 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58823529412 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180602018331 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0631828278006 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597023548734 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111819356151 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0193633614886 0.0628817314937 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 48.3550499002 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.