Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Who has not listened to the common statement that health is first from other needs? Think about it and you will maybe realize that this is true. According to the pyramid of needs for people; primary needs, which are for example health and food are above other needs denominated secondary and sumptuary ones. This pyramid states that it is most important for humans to satisfy the needs which are first, in that order for be good and happy. By this mean, technology should be considered by governments a lesser level of need when it distributes its money. Though many people think that governments should invest its money in order to develop its technology, I strongly believe that governments should spend its money on more basic needs of its own people because this money belongs to them, many people die from hunger and health is a main issue which government must take care.
First and foremost, where do governments receive this money to spend from? Yes, it is true that from its own governed people, which it earns by taxes, for example. Remembering the pyramid of need stated in previously, is not true that people would be better if their basic needs were satisfied? Governments should spend its money, which really belongs to its people, in order to satisfy their main needs not what governments think it is much better. Buying or improving technology could not make all the people happy, due to everyone has different needs. But the main needs are universal, thus everybody wanted to get these principal needs satisfied. This is a right that the people have over the money which is spent by governments, due to the fact that these governments just manage it.
Secondly, hunger is a large problem which is present over the world. People die because food does not reach them and there is no correct split of revenues of a country. For this reason, when governments start to think how to spend its money, they should think first in satisfying the hunger of its people in order to stop these deaths and improve the quality of its people’s lives.
Last but not least, hunger is accompanied by health. Everyone wants health for their family instead other needs that they want to get. Although governments always say that health is for everyone in its country, this is not completely true. Wealthy people get the best treatments available in a country and it is usual that poor people do not achieve a correct treatment or even a medical prescription due to there is not enough doctors and facilities for everyone. By this mean, governments should focus not just in food for people but in maintaining its people healthy.
In a nutshell, for all these factors, we can reach the conclusion that although some people think that it is much better that a government spends its money in improving technology, because they probably think this fact will facilitate our lives. Personally I believe that it is much better to invest this money in principal needs as health and food.
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Sentence: This pyramid states that it is most important for humans to satisfy the needs which are first, in that order for be good and happy.
Description: The fragment are first , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace first with adjective
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to for and be
Sentence: According to the pyramid of needs for people; primary needs, which are for example health and food are above other needs denominated secondary and sumptuary ones.
Error: sumptuary Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 513 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2409 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.696 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.39 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.031 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5