A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
What would you purchase if you have the money enough to buy something? Think about it and it is possible that you first idea that came to your mind was a new car. It is common that people wanted to buy a car for comfort every single day. You could prevent the tiredness generated for traveling by public transport and even a possible anger. If I were asked for advice, I would strongly recommend to my friend to choose this option instead going on vacation for some reasons that I will develop following.
First and foremost, money should be invested in buying things that last long time. Although vacations could relax you, this time of relaxing usually lasts no more than a month. After this time, you will have to return to your routine as for example, returning to college classes or working. Thus, some of your dislikes that you face every day would return to your life. On the other hand, by investing your money on a car, you will have an object that will accompany you for not less than 5 years until you decide to change it. During this time, you coud take advantage of it as traveling to your work and return home or even take your kids to school. This will be a valuable thing for your comfort.
Secondly, going on vacations does not always involve buying passages for traveling. People usually relate the word “vacation” with purchasing tickets for travel and a pack which includes hotel and food for the trip. However, you could go on vacation by drive long time your car to a place that you do not even know and stay there. Therefore, purchasing a car will allow you to go on vacation as well. Some time after you have bought your car, you could prepare a travel for your vacation. The only thing that you will need is the fuel for the car and an extra money that you will earn while you use your car in your city, just for paying expenses as shelter or food. In addition, you could travel every weekend after work by driving your car to near places and take this as “minute vacation”.
Last but not least, buying a car is an inversion not just a simple buy. After you used your car by exploding all its advantages for long time, you could earn some money by selling it. This will make an extra money for your expenses. You could use this money to go on vacation or it would even serve for buying a new car. Thus, the buy of a car could become in profits for you later.
In a nutshell, by considering all these reasons, my friend could reach the conclusion that although some people would recommend him/her to go on vacation, a car would be the best choice because it will bring confort for his/her life, he could use it for going on vacation and this object would bring revenues later.
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Sentence: Think about it and it is possible that you first idea that came to your mind was a new car.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a numeral, ordinal
Suggestion: Refer to you and first
Sentence: However, you could go on vacation by drive long time your car to a place that you do not even know and stay there.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to by drive and long
Sentence: Thus, the buy of a car could become in profits for you later.
Description: The word buy is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to buy , did you mean purchase?
Sentence: During this time, you coud take advantage of it as traveling to your work and return home or even take your kids to school.
Error: coud Suggestion: could
Sentence: In a nutshell, by considering all these reasons, my friend could reach the conclusion that although some people would recommend him/her to go on vacation, a car would be the best choice because it will bring confort for his/her life, he could use it for going on vacation and this object would bring revenues later.
Error: confort Suggestion: comfort
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 503 350
No. of Characters: 2143 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.736 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.26 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.064 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.12 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.073 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.242 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5