As per the memo given by advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company, during last year fewer people have attended movies produced by Super Screen Movie company. But the postive reviews has been up in last year. The memo states that it is clearly because the contents of such positive review has not reached to the viewers. And to resolve it, memo recommends allocating a greater share of its budget to advertising.
There are various assumptions made by the advertising director which weakens the recommendation. As per the report by marketing department, fewer people have attended the Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. Although the data comparision does suggest that fewer people have watched their movies but they have failed to consider to compare it with the people who have watched any other movies in last year. Inflation or an economic crisis would have hindered the chances of viewers viewing a movie. If there was a price increase in the cost of movies during last year because of any reason would have stopped viewers from watching movies and they might have watched only a selective few. Here, the advertising director has failed to consider the possibility of fewer viewer because of the rise in the price of ticket or economy failure. By evaluating such parameters, advertising director could have shaped their argument with less possibility of fallacies.
The memo states the positive review has went up for the movies in last year. But the assumption over the reviews are that only postive review has went up. It could be that even the negative reviews of the movies has went up. If the negative review has been up as well then the average ratings of Super Screen movies would have been down. Viewers will surely avoid such movies which has low ratings because it directly mirrors the quality of the movies. Here, the advertising director should have also considered that the negative reviews along with postive reviews and bolstered their argument on the quality of the movies accordingly.
Without having any actual evidence, the memo states the positive reviews has not been reaching out to the viewers. Even when a movie has postive reviews, the other parameters should have been considered which directly relates to whether a person would watch a movie. The movie if based on controversial topic could have been avoided by many viewers because they may not agree with the statement made by the movie. When a movie is made, they cast actors to act in it and if the actors had been notorious during the production or release of movie would have directly negatively impacted the movies sales. Also, the advertising director has failed to consider if their company was involved in any scandalous activity last year which might have lowered the chances of people attending their movies.
The advertising director should have considered the above mentioned parameters before deciding on the probable cause for fewer people attending Super Screen-produced movies. By analysing each one of them, they would be strengthening their argument for recommendation for allocating a greater share of its budget next year to reaching out to public through advertising.
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: But the postive reviews has been up in last year.
Error: postive Suggestion: positive
Sentence: Although the data comparision does suggest that fewer people have watched their movies but they have failed to consider to compare it with the people who have watched any other movies in last year.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
Sentence: But the assumption over the reviews are that only postive review has went up.
Error: postive Suggestion: positive
Sentence: Here, the advertising director should have also considered that the negative reviews along with postive reviews and bolstered their argument on the quality of the movies accordingly.
Error: postive Suggestion: positive
Sentence: Even when a movie has postive reviews, the other parameters should have been considered which directly relates to whether a person would watch a movie.
Error: postive Suggestion: positive
Sentence: By analysing each one of them, they would be strengthening their argument for recommendation for allocating a greater share of its budget next year to reaching out to public through advertising.
Error: analysing Suggestion: analyzing
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-taken-me…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2646 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.042 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.214 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 336, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'consider comparing'.
Suggestion: consider comparing
...ed their movies but they have failed to consider to compare it with the people who have watched any...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 41, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[6]
Message: Note: went is a past participle of "wend". Did you mean 'gone' (past participle of "go")?
Suggestion: gone
...The memo states the positive review has went up for the movies in last year. But the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[6]
Message: Note: went is a past participle of "wend". Did you mean 'gone' (past participle of "go")?
Suggestion: gone
...eviews are that only postive review has went up. It could be that even the negative ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 217, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[6]
Message: Note: went is a past participle of "wend". Did you mean 'gone' (past participle of "go")?
Suggestion: gone
... the negative reviews of the movies has went up. If the negative review has been up ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tive reviews of the movies has went up. If the negative review has been up as well...
^^
Line 5, column 269, Rule ID: AS_ADJ_AS[1]
Message: Comparison is written "as well 'as'".
Suggestion: as
...the negative review has been up as well then the average ratings of Super Screen mov...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, if, may, so, then, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2697.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 529.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09829867675 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61215353959 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.385633270321 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 858.6 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0224481046 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.375 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0416666667 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.95833333333 5.70786347227 34% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.371813931388 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130874418312 0.0743258471296 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13291091018 0.0701772020484 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242717731333 0.128457276422 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.083498581436 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.