Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
First of all, it is clear that hunt is a common practice in that zone, as the data about the decline of the deer population is given by local hunters. However, it is not mentioned if deers are included in their prey. If they have been hunting too much the last years, and they have pursued the deer offspring, it is possible that the reproduction rate is less than the death rate. In this case, the reason for the decrease of deer population would not be climate change, but unrestrained hunting. In order to prove this, a survey to all hunters that had actuated there should be done, and the obtained results ought to be compared with the birth rate of deer. Depending on the results of the survey, the relative importance of thaw can be inferred.
Secondly, as the climate has become slightly warmer, it is possible that deer have changed their habitat to a more adequate one. As they needed a quite hot place to live, and mean temperatures have increased in all the planet, an alternative explanation for the reduction of their number in Canada’s artic regions could be that they have moved to the North. In order to recall evidence to demonstrate this, a study of deer population in those places should be made. If an increase in the number of deer in a near place is found, this may be the reason for the claim.
Thirdly, it could be possible that, according to the information presented in the last paragraph, a predator species has changed its habitat, so its presence is causing their prey population (namely, deer) to diminish drastically. In this sense, a study related to the change of biodiversity in the zone ought to take place, in order to establish if there are different species from the ones that were there some years ago. If this hypothesis is confirmed, it is clear that ice melting is not the main reason for the mentioned fall of population.
In conclusion, in order to determine if the effect of climate change on the volume of ice in the sea is the unique reason for the fact presented, the influence of hunting, deer habitat change and appearance of predators must be studied.
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| 2023-07-17 | okazaki11 | 72 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1682 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.485 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.49 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.041 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1742.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 375.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.64533333333 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60429184232 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493333333333 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 553.5 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6844997202 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.428571429 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7857142857 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.78571428571 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131678244698 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492636165607 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0323915777678 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0847645489156 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0242571731201 0.0628817314937 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.