The Commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society: Income are rising, most employees now receive more vacation time, and interest in travel is rising, as shown by an increase in media attention devoted to foreign culture and tourist attractions
The argument that the Commercial Airline Industry will benefit from the recent changes in the Freedonian society is based on some naive assumptions from which the writer tries to draw conclusion. It may at prima-facie seems to be tenable but the writers seems to have taken several dubious conclusions making the connection tenuous.
First and foremost, according to author the increase in the airline industry growth is contingent upon the Increasing Income. There is no evidence provided by the author that the Freedonian society will show similar increase in the income in future and will not buck the trend. Also, even if people have more free time for leisure, is not guaranteed that the citizens will engage into tourism. May be people take up other hobbies and devote to them instead of tourism. And Even If people’s interest for travelling increases, it is fallacious to assume that the airline will benefit from it, It may so happen that the people most sought commutation is not airlines or the destination they are looking for is not far for them to be using flights .
The Author also attributes the increase to increase in media attention to the foreign cultures/destination. This statement suffers from an inherent assumption that he media is conveying the popular public opinion. IT may be possible that the media reports is based on a few people or is not at all correlated to the public opinion. IT is takes an implicit assumption that media coverage to such destinations will encourage the people to visit those and that too by the airlines.
Besides these, the writer does not explain the kind of changes in Freedonian society. It is unclear whether it is some kind of a business reform or mitigation of tax burden on people which is resulting in increase of the income of the people. What if the changes brought are not related to the airline industry? It is not clear as to which people are benefitting from the changes and how many of them contribute to the airline industry. It is possible that only a bunch of people are experiencing the increase in income and only a few of them like to spend on airlines as leisure, will that contribute significantly to the airline industry.
In conclusion the writer’s assertion may be correct given that the assumption taken seem to be fitting, but there is a need of well-conclusive evidence that the recent change would necessitate a growth to the Airline Industry.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1985 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.665 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.543 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
HI, can you please elaborate
HI, can you please elaborate on the mistakes in the essay?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...clusions making the connection tenuous. First and foremost, according to author ...
^^^
Line 2, column 750, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... is not far for them to be using flights . The Author also attributes the incr...
^^
Line 5, column 120, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'kind of'.
Suggestion: kind of
...ciety. It is unclear whether it is some kind of a business reform or mitigation of tax bu...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...itate a growth to the Airline Industry.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, look, may, so, well, as to, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2033.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 414.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91062801932 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86523553731 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.451690821256 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 648.9 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3116993325 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.588235294 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3529411765 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76470588235 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.266949144539 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0915842817494 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0861417986357 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149674641891 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0708355875948 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.