An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The writer's argument that the Tagus's government should do everything in order to promote a new type of millet, seems to be based on inherent assumptions and dubious reasoning which seems to render the conclusion rather unconvincing.
First and foremost the writer inherently assumes that impoverishment is the cause of deficiency of the vitamin A among the people. The writer should bring in sufficient evidence that only impoverishment and no other factors like eating disorders, any epidemic or consumption of low vitamin-A diet is leading to such a deficiency. Because a deficiency vitamin is still found in several affluent nations attributed to several other factors.
Besides, these the writer takes a fallacious assumption that since the millet is a staple diet, people will adopt the new millet. A recent example of protests against Genetically modified staple vegetables in India has shown that in spite of food engineered being staple, it is having trouble to get adopted. Moreover, the writer doesn't make it clear whether the engineered variety have similar features to that of the old millet as people would not readily accept a radically different variety of their staple diet.
Besides the adoption of this millet, the writer takes a far-fetched conclusion that the government should do everything in order to promote this new type of millet. This may be a viable way to curb this problem but the writer fails to compare this method with the other alternatives present. It may so happen that much indigenous fruit/vegetable could help curb this deficiency. Hence it would be irrational to support this way without juxtaposing it with several other alternatives.
Moreover, the author makes a dubious claim that the farmers would get subsidies to farm this new variety of millet. The writer should mention the amount of subsidy. Given this, it also begs a question that whether or not the subsidy will be sufficient to overcome the extra cost incurred. Even if the farmers are being financed, there may exist several cheaper alternatives(as discussed) which may not take any financial toll on either farmer on government.
In conclusion, the writer's argument may stand correct if the answers to the raised questions are convincing but with the questions being un-answered the argument seems to stand on rather precarious assumptions.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1938 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.113 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.756 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.736 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.623 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
The writers argument that the Taguss government sho...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...A diet is leading to such a deficiency. Because a deficiency vitamin is still found in ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...le to get adopted. Moreover, the writer doesnt make it clear whether the engineered va...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 380, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...etable could help curb this deficiency. Hence it would be irrational to support this ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 207, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...iven this, it also begs a question that whether or not the subsidy will be sufficient to overc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...r on government. In conclusion, the writers argument may stand correct if the answe...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, if, may, moreover, so, still, in conclusion, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1983.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 377.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2599469496 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86285183119 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522546419098 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.0554533156 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.9375 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5625 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.625 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267873409106 0.218282227539 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0875605010689 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0585368063121 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124037619849 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0513190475484 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.