"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the argument recommends emulating the changes which the Apex Theater has done by the Rialto Movie theater in order to remain profitable and preserve share of spectators. However, the supportive evidences which are used by the author should be questioned. First of all, it is not clear if the Apex Theater is successful and profitable or not. Secondly, is the given statistical data sufficient to made the conclusion? Is the proposed change the best and most efficient way to remain profitable for the Rialto Movie Theater?
The main assumption on which the conclusion is based that the rival theater is prosper and fourish. At the same time, no data about its revenue, the number of visitors and other factors which may allow us to draw a conclusion about the success of the theatre were not given to us. The possibility exists that actual situation with the Apex Theater is not as good as the author of the argument presents us. Conseqeutnly, the conclusion and the argument which are based on unsupported belief is not reasonable due to the possibility that recommened actions may lead to unexpected results.
Secondly, the author asserts that owing to available statistical data 85 per cent of inverviewed people are going to visit a movie theater 5 times per year. However, how can we interpret the given data? Why do we assume that it is not a positive results? We need to acquire additional information: how many people visited the movie theater one, five or even ten years ago. These data will allow us to make a comprehensive comparison and understand the real situation better. The data is meaningles if it is not compared with other results. To illustrate the concept, statistically in accidents which are connected with the airplanes 5000 people died every year, this number is significant and terrifying. Howerver, if we compare the results with the average of people who died at car accidents, more than 250 000 people every year, the average of the aircraft crashes is not such bad. In other words, the probability exists that the statistical data that 85 percent is going to visit theater at least 5 times signalizes a enhancement in the average and therefore theatres should increase their income.
besides, is the idea proposed by the writer the best way to attract new customers to the Rialto Movie Theater. Owing to the fact that the theater has existed for fifty years it has become well-known by local public. We may surmise that the theater associated with the cinema and become a local landmark. The theater may emhasize with feature and for instance, start to demonstrate classical movie of the middle of the 1950s. The director of the theater should consider ways to attract new viewers and use to do it the strong facets of the history of the theater.
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Sentence: Secondly, is the given statistical data sufficient to made the conclusion?
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and made
Sentence: The main assumption on which the conclusion is based that the rival theater is prosper and fourish.
Error: fourish Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Conseqeutnly, the conclusion and the argument which are based on unsupported belief is not reasonable due to the possibility that recommened actions may lead to unexpected results.
Error: recommened Suggestion: recommend
Sentence: Secondly, the author asserts that owing to available statistical data 85 per cent of inverviewed people are going to visit a movie theater 5 times per year.
Error: inverviewed Suggestion: interviewed
Sentence: The data is meaningles if it is not compared with other results.
Error: meaningles Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- Suppose Apex is successful, how are you going to argue?
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system.
//your argument 1. and more: The net profit of Apex might be so low that makes Apex’s investment unjustifiable.
condition 2:
Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year.
//we have to accept all data from GRE topics are true.
suggested:
Suppose there are 100 people in the survey, 15 people will keep watching movies 5 times or more, 85 people will watch movies less than 5 times. The important thing is: among those 85 people, how many people like Apex style, and how many like Rialto style. if only 5 people like Apex style while 80 people still like Rialto style, the shift to Apex style will be a big loss.
conclusion:
Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex.
//the comparison between Rialto and Apex may not be completely logical as the people who visit downtown aren't necessarily the same as the people who go to the mall. People going to both of the locations tend to have different intentions tied with their visit...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5