The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase."
The passage states that if the Classical Shakespare Theatre of Bardville institutes a 'Shakespare in the Park' program, their profits will increase significantly. However, when we take a closer look at the presented data, it is possible to realize that this conclusion is rife with holes and assumptions. More information regarding this isseu is needed in order to give the Theatre's administrators proper tools in order to make an informed decision.
First of all, it is important to analyze the auhtor's dubious claim that the solution to the problem would be to attract new members in order to increase the audience and, therefore, the profits. It is possible that the profits of a theatre with small audience are greater than one with hundreds of viewers. An unpleasent budget has uncountable possible causes. Maybe a bad administration is causing the profits to be much smaller that they should. If that is the case, the author's indicated solution will be likely to be inefficient. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze what is causing the profits to decrease, and attack the main reasons for that.
Closely linked to the aforementioned assumption is the author's boulder hypothesis that instituting a program that is similar to a successful one, adopted in nearby company two years ago, would create the same effects. This affirmation is flawed in many ways. To start it all, there is no information about how similar the communities are, and how diferent the people's habits are now than two years ago. Moreover, the example to be followed is of a Repertory Company, that may present completely different results in very similar actions when compared to a Classical Theatre Company. This fragile claim must not be taken into consideration when deciding the best choice to solve the problem.
Moreover, the author mentions that they increased advertising in order to reverse the declining audience numbers, but this action were not effective in stopping the profits to decrease. But how much was spent in advertising? Where these advertisements took place? It is possible that more money than necessary was spent, causing the profits to continue declining, even with an increase at the income. And, if they were to use advertising in a modern, effective way, considering the internet and social media, like Instagram and Facebook, the effects would have been better. The author would benefit from bringing more information regarding this issue, like the amount spent in advertising and what were the direct effects on those on the profits.
Hence, while the author does highlight a reasonable possibility, more information regarding this issue is needed in order to persuade more critic readers. If, in fact, starting the 'Shakespare in the Park' program is the best alternative to increase the theatre's profit, the author must present more concrete and valid evidences.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: More information regarding this isseu is needed in order to give the Theatre's administrators proper tools in order to make an informed decision.
Error: isseu Suggestion: issue
Sentence: It is possible that the profits of a theatre with small audience are greater than one with hundreds of viewers.
Error: theatre Suggestion: theater
Sentence: An unpleasent budget has uncountable possible causes.
Error: unpleasent Suggestion: unpleasant
Sentence: To start it all, there is no information about how similar the communities are, and how diferent the people's habits are now than two years ago.
Error: diferent Suggestion: different
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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other arguments:
1. maybe other reasons caused Avon Repertory Company's increase on profit, not the program
2. suppose it is due to the program, maybe it works only for 'two years ago'
3. it works for A, it ma not work for B
4. may need other marketing approaches plus the program to increase the profits.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2354 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.062 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.791 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.439 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...to the aforementioned assumption is the authors boulder hypothesis that instituting a p...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, look, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, while, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 465.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19569892473 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8462022332 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505376344086 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 763.2 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.3848796871 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.818181818 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1363636364 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86363636364 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0879576454851 0.218282227539 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0254598158862 0.0743258471296 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.032219268601 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0516433684702 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.025586640786 0.0628817314937 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.