The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author has bolstered the idea of lowering the number of moped and pedestrian accident on Balmer Island with several unsubstantiated arguments. These arguments need further clarification.
Firstly, it is unclear how the increase of population on Balmer Island during the summer months associate with moped and pedestrian accidents. The assumption is that increased population on the island leads to more moped users and pedestrians on the streets, thus causing more accidents. The author should further clarify the argument by providing information, such as the percentage of increase of moped users and pedestrians during the summer months and compared them with other months of the year to detect any significant differences. With these details, association between increased population and the number of moped users and pedestrians on the island, and their relationship with accident cases could be highlighted clearly.
Secondly, it is also unclear whether the reduction of moped rental by 25 per day for each company would, in fact, lower the number of accident. Yet again the author should provide any relating evidence and determine whether the increased accident cases are correlated with increased moped users. If so, the author should examine whether what locations, strength of current safety measures for moped in place, and age groups of moped users that accident frequently occurred. These information will help author to further determine the appropriate measures to be taken to tackle the issue, instead of limiting the number of moped that each rental company can rent. Also, impact of cutting half of the moped rental could on the number of accident involving mopeds should also be assessed.
Thirdly, using Seaville’s achievement in reducing the proportion of accident as an comparison or target to be achieved is unjustifiable. The author argued that by limiting the number of moped rental, the number of accident can be reduced by 50% as Seaville did last year. The author failed to provide any comparable parameters from Seaville’s, such as the types of accidents that Seaville successfully reduced: car, bicycle, or motorcycle etc., type of environment or seasons of the year where accidents occurred frequently. It is likely that Seaville has a very small population size which remains unchanged throughout the year, and without sudden influx of foreigners in any seasons or months, hence, safety measures or education are more easily to be rolled out more effectively compared to Balmer Island.
In sum, the author should clarify the relationship between increased population during summer months and changes in accident pertaining to pedestrian and moped, examine other factors may could be source of accident, and provide and assess comparable parameters from Seaville’s and tailor their strategies according to those findings to bring down the number of accidents.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- better to make it simpler: it works in the neighboring island of Seaville, doesn't mean it will work on Balmer Island.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2398 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.329 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.324 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 348, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urther clarify the argument by providing information, such as the percentage of i...
^^
Line 5, column 475, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'These informations'?
Suggestion: This information; These informations
...sers that accident frequently occurred. These information will help author to further determine t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 86, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... reducing the proportion of accident as an comparison or target to be achieved is ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 450.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.49555555556 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91882015738 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464444444444 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 765.0 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 75.8827220123 57.8364921388 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.5625 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.125 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256761641437 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10082552742 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0626236608545 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154536703541 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0432754762685 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 14.3799401198 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.3550499002 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.92 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.