The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Relannian newspaper.
Industry analysts report that the number of dairy farms in Relanna has increasedby 25 percent over the last decade. Also, recent innovations in milking technology make it possible for farmers to significantly increase the efficiency of the milking process, allowing them to collect more milk in less time with minimal human intervention. In fact, data from the Relannian Department of Agriculture indicate that labor costs at the majority of Relannian dairy farms care actually lower now than they were ten years ago. Despite increased efficiency and lower labor costs, a carton of cream - a dairy product made
from milk - at the local food market costs twice as much as it did two years ago. The only explanation for this dramatic price increase is that farmers are inflating the price of cream to increase their profits.
Grounding on the report of improved efficiency of collecting milk and the decreased labor costs, the price of its product is supposed to be lower than before. When the price of a carton of cream turns out to be in fact double than two years ago, the author attributes this phenomenon to the inflation of the price. However, the statement fails to rule out several alternative explanations which will also lead to higher prices.
The report has mentioned the expansion of the dairy farm over the ten years. It is entirely possible to increase the overall budget of running a farm. In addition, applying machines to take over the human force indicates an indispensable spending on high technology. What the report did not mention is that whether there is an increase of other cost over the last decades, such as maintaining the facilities, managing a disease outbreak among the cows, or dealing with a devastating natural disaster. These underlying costs will all add to the price of the product.
Besides, perhaps the farm actually provides a wide variety of dairy products to the market and they are sold in quite good deals. What the report has left out was that only the price of the carton of cream increased and the rest of the other did not. More information is required for the product mentioned. Is there an increase demand over the last two years? What about the other eight years ever since the farm paid less in labor and time? Back to the report itself, we don't even know whether the study was conducted scientifically because no hard numbers are provided.
In conclusion, the author seems to draw a sweeping conclusion based on several unwarranted assumptions. The alternative possibilities mentioned above need to be rule out in order to establish a convincing argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1451 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.757 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.886 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 473, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...and time? Back to the report itself, we dont even know whether the study was conduct...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, however, if, so, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1491.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 304.0 441.139720559 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90460526316 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70532963453 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582236842105 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 467.1 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.8800049437 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.1875 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6875 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134843796983 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0451422739666 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0394648880248 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0721617020139 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0432430381928 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.