The following appeared in a memo written by the head of the Gorham School.
"Our school cafeteria should make changes in the lunches that it serves in order to improve the health of our students. Several teachers and I have observed that students who eat these meals tend to eat the main course and the dessert, but seldom finish the vegetable portion. This pattern means that students are missing the vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables, which are typically rich in vitamins and minerals. Therefore, the school cafeteria should serve larger fruit and vegetable portions along with smaller main course and dessert portions. This change will be effective because, according to research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital, children eat the same amount of food served to them - about 55 percent, on average - no matter what the main course is."
The memo to Gorham School highlights certain assumption to recommend a change in ‘lunch’ served at school cafeteria.
The author concludes that doing so would improve the health of students. The reasons for his suggestion being that teachers and students of the school have often been observed leaving behind the ‘vegetable portion’ served as part of lunch. And therefore replacing these with larger fruit and vegetable portion and decreasing the main portion would work as the research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital, ‘no matter what is being served children tend to eat 55% of their meal’. As it stands, the argument is unconvincing in several respects as the assumptions made by the author fail to lend any support to the recommendation made.
Firstly the observation that students and teachers leave behind the vegetable portions (served in meals) doesn’t imply that they actually don’t like eating vegetables. The author hasn’t mentioned anything about the taste of the food that is being served. May be main dish and dessert taste better that the vegetable portion or might be vegetables portions served at school lack taste or savor. Before drawing a conclusion it is necessary to get a feedback from students and teachers regarding the food made in cafeteria and also enquiring the reason for them to avoid vegetable portion. This would give better insight as to what are the real reasons for the condition.
Secondly the author assumes that decreasing the portion of main dish, dessert and increasing vegetables and fruits would compel them to eat vegetable portion. Further to bolster this assumption he takes aid of the research conducted at Rose Children’s hospital which noted that no matter what is being served children tend to eat 55% of their meal. There is no mention about the status of health conditions of children on whom the survey was conducted. Assuming the recommendation would give similar result in Gorham is unfair. It is highly likely that children at school would continue to eat main dish and dessert only and now since the quantity has been decreased it might result in weakening the students.
In conclusion, it can be noted that none of the assumptions presented by the author has succeeded in substantiating the recommendation. If a feedback was taken from the people having meals at cafeteria then it would have been helpful to determine the actual reason behind not eating vegetables. From that more appropriate steps could have been taken. Also more detail regarding the survey would have been appreciated as this would aid in determining if the results applied to students at Gorham School as well. Without these the recommendation made in the memo doesn’t appear cogent.
- The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones. 58
- The following appeared in a memo written by the head of the Gorham School."Our school cafeteria should make changes in the lunches that it serves in order to improve the health of our students. Several teachers and I have observed that students who eat th 70
- Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student’s field of study 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 74, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...o would improve the health of students. The reasons for his suggestion being that t...
^^^
Line 7, column 160, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...d compel them to eat vegetable portion. Further to bolster this assumption he takes aid...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d in substantiating the recommendation. If a feedback was taken from the people ha...
^^
Line 9, column 352, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ppropriate steps could have been taken. Also more detail regarding the survey would ...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'first', 'firstly', 'if', 'may', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'well', 'as to', 'in conclusion']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.260784313725 0.25644967241 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.201960784314 0.15541462614 130% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0529411764706 0.0836205057962 63% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0313725490196 0.0520304965353 60% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0254901960784 0.0272364105082 94% => OK
Prepositions: 0.127450980392 0.125424944231 102% => OK
Participles: 0.0901960784314 0.0416121511921 217% => Less participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.89144577782 2.79052419416 104% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0274509803922 0.026700313972 103% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.103921568627 0.113004496875 92% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0254901960784 0.0255425247493 100% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0117647058824 0.0127820249294 92% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2785.0 2731.13054187 102% => OK
No of words: 446.0 446.07635468 100% => OK
Chars per words: 6.24439461883 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.399103139013 0.378187486979 106% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.280269058296 0.287650121315 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.213004484305 0.208842608468 102% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.145739910314 0.135150697306 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89144577782 2.79052419416 104% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 207.018472906 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464125560538 0.469332199767 99% => OK
Word variations: 51.4707507664 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 22.3 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5274925165 57.7814097925 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.25 141.986410481 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3 23.2022227129 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.75 0.724660767414 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 50.3269058296 51.9672348444 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.84848484848 1.8405768891 100% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.566589286372 0.441005458295 128% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.133494179284 0.135418324435 99% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.070190412968 0.0829849096947 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.575149068103 0.58762219726 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.142815777112 0.147661913831 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.25499449441 0.193483328276 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879590862685 0.0970749176394 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.441498610013 0.42659136922 103% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.127342247021 0.0774707102158 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.413736041932 0.312017818177 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0631292100087 0.0698173142475 90% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.82512315271 104% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 14.657635468 130% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.