The argument here present by owner of Movies Galore states that their rental company should reduce operating costs to recover the declining profit of the company. This argument fails to maintain several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To satisfy the conclusion, the owners’ reason is that the company already implemented the practice of reducing operation cost in 1 store out of 10 stores of the company, which showed the positive result. However, careful scrutiny reveals that it provides little justification to the authors’ conclusion. Hence, the argument is considered incomplete and unsubstantiated.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that Movies Galore is famous for special bargains and raising the rental prices is not a creditable way to enhance profits. This is merely and the assumption made without solid ground. The argument does not explain well that why profit is decreasing actually. There can be possibility that the overall market of the Movie Rental realm is decreasing due to the latest digital technology. There can also be possibility that their stores are not up to date with new movie train in the name of giving cheaper service. However, the argument would have been better if it provide the overall scenario of that time frame.
Secondly, the owner argues here that one, out of their ten stores, which was located in downtown Marston, had decreased its operating cost by closing 6:00 PM instead of 9:00 PM and by escaping all movies released more than five years ago, regained profit. This again is a weak analogy presented by the argument and it does not demonstrate the clear correlation between the reducing hours and increasing profit. The argument fails to explain the overall socio-economic conditions of the people living nearby all stores are same or not. In some cities the stores are found busy at night and in some cities it is busy at evening time. The detail data of average free time of the people of individual city would help to strengthen the argument. The owner also fails to explain what if the costumers of that city are older film lover. If the arguer had provided the record of selling of different types of movies of each store, it would be helpful to think positively on his standpoint.
Moreover, the arguer trait of taking all stores as a one and implementing same idea to reverse profit is not corroborate by own evidences and explanations. The owners’ statement raises some skeptical questions. For example, what are the main causes of declining profit? Are the causes same for each store? How actually operating cost can be lowered? Decreasing service hour would not hamper the reputation of the company? What are the overall global markets of Rental Movie? If the overall global market is decreasing why don’t they try to switch their business? Without convincing answer to these questions, the reader is left with the impression that the owners’ argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In Sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the owner must provide clear and more concrete information about the socioeconomic aspect of people of nearby stores and overall global market trend of Movie Rental.
- Manned space flight is costly and dangerous. Moreover, the recent success of a series of unmanned space probes and satellites has demonstrated that a great deal of useful information can be gathered without the costs and risks associated with sending men 63
- Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archa 66
- Men and women, because of their inherent physical differences, are not equally suited for many tasks. 50
- Critical judgement of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from someone who is an expert in that field. 50
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 58
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. better to say: maybe there is still a gap to raise the price.
argument 2 -- not exactly. need to say:
1. maybe it is only for last month
2. maybe it works only for the store in downtown Marston
argument 3 -- not exactly. need to argue:
By implementing similar changes in our other stores, Movies Galore can increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices.
--------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 543 350
No. of Characters: 2654 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.827 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.888 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.576 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.724 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.448 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.43 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 609, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'provides'?
Suggestion: provides
...e argument would have been better if it provide the overall scenario of that time frame...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 110, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'corroborated'.
Suggestion: corroborated
...ting same idea to reverse profit is not corroborate by own evidences and explanations. The ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, hence, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, well, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2750.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 540.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09259259259 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71692354058 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 204.123752495 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503703703704 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 868.5 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.0198360538 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.8275862069 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6206896552 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.86206896552 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258468699991 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0635650921416 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0692803473738 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160048501302 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0230631634185 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.