The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at
6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The shop owner suggesting to close shop 3 hour early and remove all movies ,which are older 5 year to reduce stock, for reduction in operating cost which eventually reverse decline in his profit. However, he failed to provide some imporant information to backup his argument and this critical data are essential too evaluate this recommendation.
He did not mention anything about his rush hour time. The other store is in downtown Marston, mostly businees and corporate office area, and customers might visit during day time only. On the onther hand, Movies Galor might located near residential area and most customers are visiting at night. If this is case, it is not recommended to close shop at night which instead of improving profit may further reduce profit. Therefore, knowing peak time and cutomer visiting pattern is very imporatant before implimenting this recommendation.
Futhermore, data on number of employee and shop rent can make evaluation more smoother. For instance, the downtown store may have more employee and higher shop rent, while Movies Galore has own shop and muh less employee compare to other store. In this case reducing opeing time might not have tremendous effect on operational cost.
A third thing the show owner consider is type of customers and people leaving neaby. If downtown store has young customer, fan of new movie, and Movies Galor has to deal with older people who like old movie, removing older movie is profitable for downtown store not for Movies Galor. He need to consider preference of customer before imitating the other store's method.
In conclusion, further information of type of customers, type of area, visiting cycle, enployees' wage and show rent can help in deep analysis of the shop owner's argument.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1438 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.993 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.501 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 16, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggesting closing'.
Suggestion: suggesting closing
The shop owner suggesting to close shop 3 hour early and remove all movies...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 43, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'hours'.
Suggestion: hours
...e shop owner suggesting to close shop 3 hour early and remove all movies ,which are ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 75, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... shop 3 hour early and remove all movies ,which are older 5 year to reduce stock, ...
^^
Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: CAN_BACKUP[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to back up'?
Suggestion: to back up
...ed to provide some imporant information to backup his argument and this critical data are...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to evaluate'?
Suggestion: to evaluate
...nt and this critical data are essential too evaluate this recommendation. He did not me...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 324, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended closing'.
Suggestion: recommended closing
...ng at night. If this is case, it is not recommended to close shop at night which instead of improvin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d of improving profit may further reduce profit. Therefore, knowing peak time and...
^^
Line 9, column 74, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'smoother' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: smoother
...loyee and shop rent can make evaluation more smoother. For instance, the downtown store may h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 247, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., removing older movie is profitable for downtown store not for Movies Galor. He ...
^^
Line 13, column 356, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
... of customer before imitating the other stores method. In conclusion, further inf...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, so, therefore, third, while, as to, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1492.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 288.0 441.139720559 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18055555556 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11953428781 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58150323467 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.590277777778 0.468620217663 126% => OK
syllable_count: 469.8 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.8347560578 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.571428571 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5714285714 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78571428571 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.098788097016 0.218282227539 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0331437542345 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0379064363786 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0555222755767 0.128457276422 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0245771807695 0.0628817314937 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.