The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
I disagree with this short essay. There are some reasons in following paragraphs.
First of all, we should be ensure quality of students. The essay says, “The Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels.” It means there is no any limit for this school. There are saying something calls “musical cells”, everyone are have some talents but it maybe does not include music. I remember a driver start singing when I touring to neighbor city and he always out of tune in whole song. In fact he cannot difference the different of every tune. If the Mozart School of Music accepted some students look that, they will never understand basic knowledge fo tune. I agree that not limit in age levels, because there are too many old men and women learn instrument in my university, they always performance in park. The music genius has not age limit.
The second claim contains the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of style and genres from classical to rock. In my view, a human rarely can learn wide range of any style and genres, learn too many instruments can disperse their attention and all cannot learn very well. If they are learn too much genres, they are not only tried and have not a good efficiency. If student’s quality are decline, so that the school’s fame also decline. Four years after less good students will does not want to apply this school. Even if the company are does not accept these graduated students.
Finally, this essay also claims many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians. An important point is there are no any truly proof. Even if there are true, we still cannot guarantee it still looks that in future.
To sum up, there are no any limit for students is unreasonable. This school will looks unreliable.
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| 2023-03-02 | tedyang777 | 69 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1482 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.617 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.3 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.591 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.726 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'ensured'?
Suggestion: ensured
...ragraphs. First of all, we should be ensure quality of students. The essay says, &a...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...and age levels.' It means there is no any limit for this school. There are sa...
^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...'musical cells', everyone are have some talents but it maybe does not incl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 368, Rule ID: I_AM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I am'?
Suggestion: I am
... I remember a driver start singing when I touring to neighbor city and he always ...
^
Line 3, column 699, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to instrument'
Suggestion: to instrument
...re are too many old men and women learn instrument in my university, they always performan...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 786, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'aged'.
Suggestion: aged
...mance in park. The music genius has not age limit. The second claim contains the ...
^^^
Line 5, column 329, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'learned', 'learnt'.
Suggestion: learned; learnt
...all cannot learn very well. If they are learn too much genres, they are not only trie...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 339, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
... learn very well. If they are learn too much genres, they are not only tried and hav...
^^^^
Line 5, column 533, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
...our years after less good students will does not want to apply this school. Even if ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 569, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ill does not want to apply this school. Even if the company are does not accept these g...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 161, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...icians. An important point is there are no any truly proof. Even if there are true...
^^
Line 7, column 251, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ll cannot guarantee it still looks that in future. To sum up, there are no any limit f...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 22, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...that in future. To sum up, there are no any limit for students is unreasonable....
^^
Line 9, column 82, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'look'
Suggestion: look
...dents is unreasonable. This school will looks unreliable.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, may, second, so, still, well, in fact, first of all, in my view, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1563.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 321.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8691588785 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5825413646 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.579439252336 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 488.7 705.55239521 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.3593839347 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.4285714286 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.2857142857 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28571428571 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24960830245 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652193569547 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0779434059624 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108424525059 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0876392058261 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 14.3799401198 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.37 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.