The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors."Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food s

In this letter, the author recommends that the stockholdes of Old Dairy Industries should sell their shares and no more purchasing stock is advsied to the investor to this company. To prove the suggestion, the author argues that the prediliction of consumers is the low-fat foods due to a survey while the Old Dairy produced the high fat and cholestrol products. Hence the sales of the company would diminish dramastically as well as the profits. The author's evidence seems to be compelling while there are some loopholes in this statement. Let's reexamine them carefully.

To begin wih, the recent survey is unconvincing at all. Firstly, the numbers are vague which merely shows the 80 percent of the respodents would like to reduce the intake of fat and cholesterol. While we do not know how many respodents in totall as well as what kind of group of people involved in the survey. Maybe there are few people in a major city of US took the survey while the Old Dairy is a company locates at South Africa where some of the people are still starving. Secondly, the intends of them to show their proclivity are also in question. As it is true for almost everyone wants to be healthy by the means of eating healhty food with low-fat and cholesterol as we educated in the school, while whether they told the truth is hard to say, as people, on the other hand, are also acctracted by the foods like cakes or cheese which in high fat and cholesterol. So this indication of the eating healthier may be the best wish for some of them.

In addtion, the author should not make this conclusion that the sales and profits of old dairy will diminish due to the prodctions of theirs before aware of the overall conditions of the company. First of all, as a company, they could sell not only a kind of products with high fat and cholesterol. Without the notice of the auhor , Maybe the Old Dairy company sells milk in high possiblity, but the milk is healthy for amlost everyone, and it is essential for the people who want to take low-fat diet as an important supply of Calcium and V-D. Secondly, it would be hasty to predict the depression of the company as the sales and profits are not determined only by the products of the company, the cost of the product and human cost will also affect the sales and benefits together, even if the advertisment will attribute to the income of the company. So the author should make a wide survey of this company firstly.

Finally, let's dive into the stocks, which is unpredictable. With the uncertainty of the stock, it would be premature to make conclusions so early. As time gone by, the company should be resposible for their stockholders when there is really a decreasing profits which may or not shows on the market.Maybe by the modifying marketing and products, the share of the company will increase significantly in the future.

In all, as the old saying goes there are lots of risks in the stock market, everyone in the market should be prudent. Let's get back to the Old Dairy, maybe the author makes a right concern, but he should prove it by more convincing evidence to show the conditions of the company as well as the local food markets and people's preference.

Votes
Average: 2.9 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 364, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...d the high fat and cholestrol products. Hence the sales of the company would diminish...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 542, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...e are some loopholes in this statement. Lets reexamine them carefully. To begin w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 439, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...a company locates at South Africa where some of the people are still starving. Secondly, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y will diminish due to the prodctions of theirs before aware of the overall condi...
^^
Line 5, column 332, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...esterol. Without the notice of the auhor , Maybe the Old Dairy company sells milk ...
^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Maybe
...ts which may or not shows on the market.Maybe by the modifying marketing and products...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 119, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...eryone in the market should be prudent. Lets get back to the Old Dairy, maybe the au...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, well, while, kind of, as well as, first of all, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2643.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 570.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63684210526 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88617158649 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58154419523 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440350877193 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 819.0 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.4309001879 57.8364921388 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.136363636 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9090909091 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.54545454545 5.70786347227 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162799855503 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0478221438053 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591593745316 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0864154314668 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0704314693649 0.0628817314937 112% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: In this letter, the author recommends that the stockholdes of Old Dairy Industries should sell their shares and no more purchasing stock is advsied to the investor to this company.
Error: stockholdes Suggestion: stockholder
Error: advsied Suggestion: advised

Sentence: To prove the suggestion, the author argues that the prediliction of consumers is the low-fat foods due to a survey while the Old Dairy produced the high fat and cholestrol products.
Error: low-fat Suggestion: lowest
Error: cholestrol Suggestion: control
Error: prediliction Suggestion: predilection

Sentence: Hence the sales of the company would diminish dramastically as well as the profits.
Error: dramastically Suggestion: dramatically

Sentence: To begin wih, the recent survey is unconvincing at all.
Error: wih Suggestion: wit

Sentence: Firstly, the numbers are vague which merely shows the 80 percent of the respodents would like to reduce the intake of fat and cholesterol.
Error: respodents Suggestion: respondents
Error: intake Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: cholesterol Suggestion: chooser

Sentence: While we do not know how many respodents in totall as well as what kind of group of people involved in the survey.
Error: respodents Suggestion: respondents
Error: totall Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: As it is true for almost everyone wants to be healthy by the means of eating healhty food with low-fat and cholesterol as we educated in the school, while whether they told the truth is hard to say, as people, on the other hand, are also acctracted by the foods like cakes or cheese which in high fat and cholesterol.
Error: acctracted Suggestion: attracted
Error: low-fat Suggestion: lowest
Error: healhty Suggestion: healthy
Error: cholesterol Suggestion: chooser

Sentence: So this indication of the eating healthier may be the best wish for some of them.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: In addtion, the author should not make this conclusion that the sales and profits of old dairy will diminish due to the prodctions of theirs before aware of the overall conditions of the company.
Error: addtion Suggestion: addition
Error: prodctions Suggestion: productions

Sentence: First of all, as a company, they could sell not only a kind of products with high fat and cholesterol.
Error: cholesterol Suggestion: chooser

Sentence: Without the notice of the auhor , Maybe the Old Dairy company sells milk in high possiblity, but the milk is healthy for amlost everyone, and it is essential for the people who want to take low-fat diet as an important supply of Calcium and V-D. Secondly, it would be hasty to predict the depression of the company as the sales and profits are not determined only by the products of the company, the cost of the product and human cost will also affect the sales and benefits together, even if the
Error: low-fat Suggestion: lowest
Error: auhor Suggestion: author
Error: amlost Suggestion: almost
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility

Sentence: advertisment will attribute to the income of the company.
Error: advertisment Suggestion: advertisement

Sentence: As time gone by, the company should be resposible for their stockholders when there is really a decreasing profits which may or not shows on the market.Maybe by the modifying marketing and products, the share of the company will increase significantly in the future.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: resposible Suggestion: responsible

-------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2580 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.518 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.471 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.955 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.446 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5