The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper.
"In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, the city began offering generous relocation grants to any company that would move to Dillton. Since these changes went into effect, two new factories have opened in Dillton. Although the two factories employ more than 1,000 people, the unemployment rate in Dillton remains unchanged. The only clear explanation for this is that the new factories are staffed with out-of-town workers rather than Dillton residents."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
While the article in the Dalton Newspaper outlines the current precarious status of the city’s economy and concludes that the new factories are employing out-of-town workers rather than DaIlton residents, the article fails to account for several key factors and underlying information without which the author’s argument is difficult to substantiate. The conclusion put forth relies on assumptions which are rather weak, unconvincing and have several flaws and hence need to be examined much more closely.
The proposal of lowering corporate tax by 15 percent to encourage business growth and hence increased employment opportunities is a flawed one, as it fails to answer vital questions which affect the overall employment of the corporations. It may have been very much possible that the money that has been saved from the taxes could have been invested in automating the processes of the factories leading to heavy job losses for employees and thus lowering the employment rate. Thus, this could have been one of the factors attributing to the unchanged employment rate, rather than the argument put forth by the article citing out-of-town workers.
The article also states that the city has offered generous relocation grants to the companies, but it fails to provide any information regarding the nature and business verticals of the industries which have been provided grants. As an illustration, in the case of offering grants to companies having factories with highly automated processes, it does not alleviate the employment crisis. Hence, the author should include the details regarding which companies have been offered grants and to what extent are their processes automated. Consequently, due to the absence of such necessary details in the article, the conclusion put forth is exceedingly doubtful.
Another glaring inconsistency is that the author fails to acknowledge the possibility that there may have been citizens who could have left their present jobs in the city for the jobs offered by the two new factories and hence even though the new factories do employ a thousand employees, since all of them could have left their current jobs to switch to jobs in the new factory, there has been no net change in the employment rate. This again works against the argument put forth by the article and has not been considered in the article.
Finally, the city’s council’s decision to offer grants and other conveniences may not have been a wise one as there are no other pressing demands required from the corporations. The article fails to mention whether the corporations have been made to provide reservation for citizens of Dalton or not when being provided grants. This major omission affects the conclusion of the article and hence renders it highly vague.
In conclusion, it may be possible that the out-of-town workers could genuinely be taking up the jobs in Dalton and hence affecting the employment statistics, but under the premises of the article and the aforementioned inconsistencies, there are a lot of unanswered questions that need to be answered first. Without adequate details regarding the present employment of Dalton citizens and the demographics of the new factories, it is challenging to evaluate the conclusion of the article, and hence the article fails to deliver.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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it is on the wrong track, read a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2738 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.176 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.79 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 204 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 166 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 113 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.25 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.652 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 285, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'company'.
Suggestion: company
...tion, in the case of offering grants to companies having factories with highly automated ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 447, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'evaluating'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: evaluating
...of the new factories, it is challenging to evaluate the conclusion of the article, and henc...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, hence, if, may, regarding, so, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2815.0 2260.96107784 125% => OK
No of words: 529.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3213610586 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91874638807 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4404536862 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 862.2 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.5068194944 57.8364921388 156% => OK
Chars per sentence: 175.9375 119.503703932 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.0625 23.324526521 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141955524234 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.049126507724 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523342374077 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0845953678534 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0417737692195 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.2 14.3799401198 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.3550499002 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.17 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.