The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument states that first born infant monkeys produce up to twice as much as hormone cortisol than their younger sibling and also the mother monkey has high level of cortisol during their first pregnacy. As far as considered for mother monkey the possible reason could be the 'first time'. It could be the feeling of being pregant for the first time, being mother for the first time. The body experiences changes it has never been through before. It has been observed that first borns even in humans are little more attached to the parent than observed in younger siblings. However, it may not be case with each and eceryone.
There can be many reasons scientific reasons why cortisol is found more in first born monkey and their moms and as a layman, it can only be assumed that it can be those 'first' experiences. It is obvious for an individual to be very attached to their children and especially if it is first , they are bound to have all the love and attention. Similarly, for the first born child, the child is accustomed to undivided attention . When a child is being brought up, due to so much of attention attachment seeks no bounds. Hence, we see that when the parent leaves the child cries and when the parent arrives, the child will not leave the parent.
The author also compares that with younger sibling. The scenario with younger sibling is usually opposite. They are not accustomed to full attention, everything is divided. Similarly for the mother, during the later pregancies level of cortisol may not be high, as her body has already been through it once. Even her mind is already setup unlike her first pregnancy. However, considering from child point of view, it would not be fair to make a judgement on the above said things as it can differ from individual to individual. It can be possible for that the younger child may also feel stressed or left out if the parent is around, or no one is around.
It is essential that while the experiment is performed, the same situation is created that is, leaving the younger child in absence of parents and elder sibling. Only then can be the result factual enough to support author's argument. A survey in this manner can be accepted and agreed upon.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1785 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.554 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.287 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.752 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.29 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 409, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[2]
Message: You should probably use 'change'.
Suggestion: change
...or the first time. The body experiences changes it has never been through before. It ha...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r children and especially if it is first , they are bound to have all the love and...
^^
Line 2, column 424, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ild is accustomed to undivided attention . When a child is being brought up, due t...
^^
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
... full attention, everything is divided. Similarly for the mother, during the later pregan...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, may, similarly, so, then, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1830.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.66836734694 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38459847282 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487244897959 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 559.8 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.1457911545 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.1428571429 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04761904762 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0352467404292 0.218282227539 16% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0108368897822 0.0743258471296 15% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0166244077654 0.0701772020484 24% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.023547295742 0.128457276422 18% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00682909183562 0.0628817314937 11% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.3550499002 145% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.197005988 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.