The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author wants to introduce the case about a recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. But I have a different view with this author. There are some reasons in the following paragraphs.
First of all, there is no enough sample for these monkeys. It means only eighteen rhesus monkeys have these effects look like that. Eighteen monkeys are cannot get this answer for all monkeys.
Secondly, this statement claims that the study showed that in stimulating situations, first born infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, with primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. But it cannot prove this point, even if when a little body monkey grows to bigger is this level hormone cortisol.
Thirdly, this statement claim firstborn human also produce a relatively high level of cortisol in stimulating situations. At first, there are not give the source, which research reports can prove this view. In addition, even if from this monkey prove to this opinion but monkey still different from human.
Finally, this statement claims the study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. There are too many uncertain factors in the whole study. We still do not know the researcher how to control variables in research. No matter whether it is the pregnancy first time, the monkey is firstborn, the different monkeys have different responses to different forms of stimulation. If he changes to other monkeys, he might find there are not higher levels of cortisol.
To recapitulate the author argues the author's argument is based on a loose argument. Also, there is no specific evidence to corroborate the claim. He should improve his way to study these monkeys. He should offer more rigorous articles.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 318 350
No. of Characters: 1571 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.223 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.94 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.443 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.252 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 151, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. There are too many u...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 39, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... To recapitulate the author argues the authors argument is based on a loose argument. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, as to, in addition, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1626.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 318.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11320754717 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6144333342 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.559748427673 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 497.7 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.7489302219 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.3 119.503703932 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.15 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213868794407 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0606335225992 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10216592092 0.0701772020484 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124107465264 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114185964833 0.0628817314937 182% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.06 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.