The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
A parent from a private school states that recent management handover to a private vendor named 'Swift Nutrition' is causing a great havoc among the students. To support his/her claim he cites some surveys (1)low-fat and low-caloric foods are not enjoyable as his son and the son's friend find it difficult to eat them (2) Those who do not eat cafeteria food, will bring less healthy foods. The letter is full of baseless assumption and partial attitudes, so i don't agree with it.
In the first place, the parent is biased on his son and son's friends, there may be other possibility that most of the student like low-fat and low-calorie food. If we look close scrutiny among the school going students one thing crossed in the minds that most of them are excessively fat, may be for that reasons most of parents like their children to have low-fat foods. Without interviewing other students the parent can not conclude that 'there will be serious health consequences' for 'Swift Nutrition'.
Secondly, from the letter, if any student don't like cafeteria food will bring unhealthy food by themselves, but the parent was not concerned about the health issues earlier. In the beginning he was concerned that his son is not enjoying the low-fat healthy meals but how can he changes his tone in the later part and cares about health issues. Again, how he is so sure that the students will bring unhealthy foods from home.
To put in a nutshell, most of the author's statements are partisan, where he wants to replace 'Swift Nutrition' thinking about only his son and son's friends. Without proving stable survey from all of the students his recommendations failed to convince me.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 289 350
No. of Characters: 1351 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.123 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.675 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.455 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.666 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.401 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 455, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... assumption and partial attitudes, so i dont agree with it. In the first place,...
^^^^
Line 4, column 173, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...ow-fat and low-calorie food. If we look close scrutiny among the school going students one thi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 260, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...one thing crossed in the minds that most of them are excessively fat, may be for...
^^
Line 4, column 269, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... crossed in the minds that most of them are excessively fat, may be for that rea...
^^
Line 4, column 316, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the parents') or simply say ''most parents''.
Suggestion: most of the parents; most parents
...xcessively fat, may be for that reasons most of parents like their children to have low-fat foo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 43, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...condly, from the letter, if any student dont like cafeteria food will bring unhealth...
^^^^
Line 11, column 191, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...nds. Without proving stable survey from all of the students his recommendations failed to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1390.0 2260.96107784 61% => OK
No of words: 286.0 441.139720559 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86013986014 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11236361783 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49573943764 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.555944055944 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 402.3 705.55239521 57% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1786170441 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.363636364 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242547506679 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0958083419122 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0659052689232 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141066703404 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0678059629844 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.