The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council."An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study rep

In the newsletter, the author states that the West Meria Public Health Council recommends to use Ichthaid in daily life so that people can prevent colds and absenteeism decreases. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, the lack of evidence leads me to question its validity.

First, the author needs to provide more evidence on the causal relationship between fish consumption and colds. He believes that consumption fish causes people to prevent colds; however, there is only general relationship between them. Although the study states people who live in nearby East Meria only see the doctor once or twice per year to treat colds, it does not guarantee that they can prevent colds more easily. Indeed, it is possible that they reluctant to visit the doctors even though they have colds because some people can overcome and treat colds themselves without any help with the doctors. Even if the trend indicates the ability of people eating fish a lot for preventing colds, it cannot be generalized to all cases. He should provide further reports to support and prove the idea.

Second, the more specific evidence is required to support the argument. The author assumes that the daily using of Ichthaid is significantly helpful for people to prevent colds; however, it is not reasonable unless he supplements more evidence. Since the treatment is only a type of nutritional supplement made of fish oil, it may not be enough to consume ingredients from fish itself. The author should provide further evidence on the effectiveness of the innovative treatment. In the statement, there is only limited information about fish consumption, not about the efficiency of the treatment.

Lastly, the author should give more evidence on the cause and effect between colds and absenteeism. He adamantly believes that the less people have colds, the less they are absent in schools and workplace. However, it seems invalid without any trustful research or experiments. Even if people prevent colds by the Icthaid, the number of absences may not be decrease. There are high chances that people do not go to schools and workplace because they are not interested in their works or because they have other illness, but not because they have colds. In this case, he cannot predict that the treatments cause substantial decline of absenteeism. Thus, it is necessary to analyze the relationship between the treatments and absenteeism with more relevant evidence.

In conclusion, the author's argument regarding using of Ichthaid to prevent colds and decrese absenteeism is unpersuadable in many aspects. To bolster the argument, he should provide more evidence on credible causal relationship between colds and absenteeism.

Votes
Average: 7.2 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the newsletter, the author recommends...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e leads me to question its validity. To begin with, the author needs to provi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... without any help with the doctors. Moreover, the more specific evidence is ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 224, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'supplements'.
Suggestion: supplements
...however, it is not reasonable unless he supplement more evidence. Since the treatment is o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ce on the effectiveness of Ichthaid. Lastly, the author should give more evid...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 160, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...kplaces. He adamantly believes that the less people have colds, the less they are ab...
^^^^
Line 7, column 247, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seems'?
Suggestion: seems
...t in schools and workplace. However, it seem invalid without any trustful research o...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...alyze the relationship between them. In conclusion, the authors argument rega...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 25, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...etween them. In conclusion, the authors argument regarding using of Ichthaid to...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1708.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 322.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30434782609 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79702482375 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.503105590062 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 522.0 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.0535816839 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 94.8888888889 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8888888889 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38888888889 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.033710101973 0.218282227539 15% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0109939015457 0.0743258471296 15% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0170692035674 0.0701772020484 24% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0201392325094 0.128457276422 16% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0126255226821 0.0628817314937 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2232 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.119 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.663 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.978 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5