The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
“Of the two leading real estate firms in our town – Adams Realty and Fitch Realty – Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams’ revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch’s $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: Ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.”
The prompt highlights the superiority of a particular real estate on the basis of three main reasons. The foremost reason being the presence of more real estate agents and the second reason is the high revenue of that particular real estate in comparison to other. The last reason is the one which the author himself experienced by selling his home and considers Adams as superior to Fitch realty. However, the argument is unconvincing because of the various reasons as it does not explain any particular reason for the superiority. The succeeding paragraphs evaluate each of the reason one by one for the superiority of the Adams realty and also suggest some possible reasons to strengthen the argument.
First of all, the first reason for the superiority of Adams among Fitch is the presence of more number of real estate agents which are approximately 15 more. Moreover, the agents in Adams realty work full time, while in Fitch Realty many of agents work for part time. But the presence of agents and their timings of work cannot be the reason for the superiority of a particular estate as it matter is the efforts and the intelligence which they put to sale the houses. Furthermore, the superiority in terms of professional competence cannot be judged on the basis of number of employees present as it all depends on the efforts put by them and their prolific skills in their work. Hence, the argument can be strengthened by expressing more details regarding the attitude and professional skills of real estate agents.
Secondly, the argument expresses the high average of Adams reality as the reason for the success, as the average revenue of Adams realty was $168000 while that of Fitch realty was lesser than this which was approximately $144000. But the higher value of average revenue cannot be the only reason for the higher sales as the other conditions also matter and the steps taken to increase the revenue will not increase the profit of a particular place because sometimes it may lead to decrease in the profit percentage. Thus, the argument can be made stronger if complete statistics is given which may bolster up the given conclusion.
Finally, the author reached the conclusion by giving his own instance to reach the conclusion by stating that it took about four months to sell the home with Fitch ten years ago, on the contrary, only month was taken to sell the home one year ago with Adams. This evidence is completely inappropriate as it make vague comparison. To elucidate, the conditions which was prevalent one year ago may not be auspicious ten years ago. Apart from this, the position and the environment of a particular home also favour to surge its sale. So, the argument can be made more comprehensive by stating the conditions ten years ago and now and most prominently the location of different houses sold.
Thus, the argument is not logically convincing. The evidence in support of the conclusion has failed to provide information on the above mentioned argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-25 | SanjanaB | 66 | view |
| 2023-08-22 | Ruhani | 73 | view |
| 2023-08-18 | Dinesh4518 | 75 | view |
| 2023-08-11 | Sounderya | 50 | view |
| 2023-05-19 | shubham1102 | 50 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2452 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.659 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.2 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.328 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lar real estate in comparison to other. The last reason is the one which the author...
^^^
Line 2, column 200, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...reover, the agents in Adams realty work full time, while in Fitch Realty many of agents w...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 257, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...in Fitch Realty many of agents work for part time. But the presence of agents and their t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 307, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...dence is completely inappropriate as it make vague comparison. To elucidate, the con...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, apart from, first of all, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2496.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 508.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91338582677 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74751043592 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70689548276 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425196850394 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 801.0 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.163194729 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.8 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.70786347227 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250260275392 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.079916377086 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0873950835177 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127595990494 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.10485201337 0.0628817314937 167% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.