The application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe, it states that the new jazz club, the C Note will be a remarkably profitable enterprise, and the author is clear that the C Note will make a lot of money in the future. The author comes to the conclusion from the clue that currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away from Monroe. He added that jazz is exceptionally popular in Monroe and over 100,000 of people attended the jazz festival last summer. During this period, well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe. Additionally, in Monroe, there is a highest rated radio program named “Jazz Nightly” which airs every weeknight. Finally, the author added that a nationwide study report indicates that the typical jazz fan spends almost $ 1000 per year on Jazz entertainment. However, in order to comprehensive and rigorous evaluation of this recommendation, it is essential to diligently tackle and answer these three pivotal questions.
Firstly, the author assumes that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away from Monroe. He assumes that there is no disturbance by this club and the proposed club is in Monroe as a local Jazz club will be a single club so the club C Note would be lucrative. Even though, it may or may not be possible that revenue generation by the C Note Club is directly related to the Jazz Club far away from that. It may be possible that somebody might have opened the club there and closed due to the sparse of customers. Furthermore, the people of Monroe may like traveling and want to travel 60-70 miles for the reason of enjoyment and is taking joy in the jazz music from the club lies away from the 65 miles. If the aforementioned circumstances come to pass, the author's claims will be severely called into question. Therefore, the author must provide the relevant piece of evidence specified above in order to support the argument.
Secondly, the author notices that the “Last Summer”, there is Monroe’s jazz festival, and over 100,000 people attended this program. But the author could not give any specific evidence about the regularity of people. The authors have not specified whether the people are local or tourists. It may be possible that a number of tourists may arrive and attend this festival and jazz music live concerts. That might be happened only last summer. It may not happen in the future. There is no specific proof from the survey reports that over 100,000 people will attend every year for that jazz music club and concerts. If either of the above scenarios proves to merit, the author’s claim will be significantly undermined.
Finally, the author asserts that the jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment, but entertainment means what? It may be possible that the fans are spending money on entertainment by purchasing DVDs, CD etc. One more thing that the authors state the highest rated radio program in Monroe is jazz nightly, it is clear that the people lives in Monroe may be joy jazz music by listening the radio. So there is no specific evidence to prove the claim.
In conclusion, as it stands now, the argument is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence, perhaps in the form of a systematic research study, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation the proposal that for the strong argument, authors assiduously have to investigate and have to find the strong evidence related to an actual number of people that wants to attend to the jazz club.
- From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with th 53
- Some people believe that our ever increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another 66
- Teachers salaries should be based on their students academic performance 68
- The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away 71
- It is possible to pass laws that control or place limits on people s behavior but legislation cannot reform human nature Laws cannot change what is in people s hearts and minds 50
e-rater score report
The introduction paragraph is too long
==============================
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 626 350
No. of Characters: 2943 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.002 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.701 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.185 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.563 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.704 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.318 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 594, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...nroe. Additionally, in Monroe, there is a highest rated radio program named “Jazz...
^
Line 1, column 780, Rule ID: CURRENCY_SPACE[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: '$1000'.
Suggestion: $1000
...that the typical jazz fan spends almost $ 1000 per year on Jazz entertainment. However...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 716, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...claim will be significantly undermined. Finally, the author asserts that the jaz...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3021.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 626.0 441.139720559 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82587859425 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00199880112 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69628534208 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 204.123752495 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426517571885 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 931.5 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.1490650267 57.8364921388 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.892857143 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3571428571 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.348292120926 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.093925900317 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0902962045886 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201906143139 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0990976562219 0.0628817314937 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.