The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The given argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is based on unwarrented assumption that if nationwide survey shows, jazz fans spend $1000 per year on jazz entertainment, then people will spend similar amount of money in Monroe jazz club also.
The base of argument is Nationwide survery, but argument doesn't provide any information about how many people from Monroe area participated in the survery. There is no information in the argument about question in the survey, was the suevey conducted with the goal of opening new jazz clubs nationwide or it was just conducted to which type of entertainment people like more. There is a possiblity, people might spend more money on shoping online jazz music, and not going to jazz clubs. Thus, instead of relaying on nationwide survey, new survey need to be conducted with Monroe people only, with questions such as would you like to spend on jazz entertainment in jazz club, if opened in the area?
The argument is also missing type of activies new club will provide in Monroe, and are Monroe residents interested in those activities. Author need to provide information about how club which is 65 miles away is doing, are people from Monroe going to there and spend money? Even if they are going to the club, what is there attendance rate, do they come often or once in a while. If people are going they regularly, then will the new club can give same facilites in the new club also, which can make them switch from far club to near one.
Thus, in conclusion, autor need to gather more infomaiton about nationwide survey, before making any decision based on its resutls and survey need to be conducted in Monroe city with the goal of opening new club in the city and asking questions related to this topic only, so that it can be the strong base of analysis wheater new club will be profitable or not.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...lar amount of money in Monroe jazz club also. The base of argument is Nationwide...
^^^^
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ent is Nationwide survery, but argument doesnt provide any information about how many ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 350, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'often' is usually put before the verb 'come'.
Suggestion: often come
... what is there attendance rate, do they come often or once in a while. If people are going...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1554.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 327.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75229357798 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49068629546 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.467889908257 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 488.7 705.55239521 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.4838773779 57.8364921388 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.272727273 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.7272727273 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23236954478 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100519138918 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452541009457 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14999337156 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0104287987037 0.0628817314937 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.