The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author is trying to convince the authority responsible for sanctioning loans in the bank. The argument
is an attempt to try and convinince the respective authority to grannt him a loan, but there are
many unanswered question whose answer might be convincing enough to not approve the loan application.
How much is the population of Monroe? If it is the capital of the country, then 100,000 is a very small
fraction of it if the author wants to generalize that majority of the citizens of Monroe are passionate
about jazz.On what basis was the radio show rated? Is the rating based solely on number of people
listening to the radio statio? For example, if the show happens on weekends and at prime timings such as 21:00 hrs
or 9:00 hrs, then it is very likely that large number of people will betunining to the radio station as compared to
other shows that might be interesting but might be on weekdays and at odd timings. Therefore the authors
generaliztaion is very vague.
How many well known jazz artisits own their house in Monroe?What might be other reasons for persuading
them to buy a house in the city of Monroe? Do they even stay in these houses? Because only a fraction of
the popular jazz artists might have bought the houses. There may be other reasons too for buying property
in Monroe, for instance the houses might be their holiday-homes. Or it might be a good investment option
because the property rates are predicted to increase as many new industries would be setting up
manufacturing plant in the region nearby Monroe. Hence the corelation between owning property in Monroe
and the love for jazz of its residents can lead to incorrect conclusions.
When was the study taken? Who were the participants? Who were the participants? What was the age group of
section of people who were interested in jazz? What did the fans spend $1000 on? Are they even interested
in attending music shows? Beacuse with the advent of new technology, people might be buying songs from
online websites and might be listening music on their smartphones or I-pods/ Walkmans and not like attending
shows because the nearest music club is in a different town and is thus very far.It is also possible
that the study was taken 20 years back and now the liking of music styles might have changed.For example,
currently EDM(Electronic Dance and Music) is the most popular music style in my country of residence
and very small sections of society are still intrigued by jazz.
Hence the author needs to answer so many other questions before even thinking of applying for loans.
These questions need to be answered well before thinking of establishing a music Thus the generalization
made by author regarding the taste of music of citizens of Monroe might misleading and the venture couldd
lead in severe loses and he might even not be able to repay the loans taken by him.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-23 | dhruv7315 | 78 | view |
| 2023-08-22 | anupad1 | 71 | view |
| 2023-08-08 | TiOluwani97 | 60 | view |
| 2023-07-30 | nadiaaref | 30 | view |
| 2023-06-27 | shubham1102 | 65 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 18, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...he bank. The argument is an attempt to try and convinince the respective authority to ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...here are many unanswered question whose answer might be convincing enough to not...
^^
Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
...ns of Monroe are passionate about jazz.On what basis was the radio show rated? Is...
^^
Line 7, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... rating based solely on number of people listening to the radio statio? For examp...
^^^
Line 9, column 116, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ning to the radio station as compared to other shows that might be interesting bu...
^^^
Line 10, column 84, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ight be on weekdays and at odd timings. Therefore the authors generaliztaion is very vag...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 61, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
...jazz artisits own their house in Monroe?What might be other reasons for persuading ...
^^^^
Line 15, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...roe? Do they even stay in these houses? Because only a fraction of the popular jazz ar...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 50, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ring plant in the region nearby Monroe. Hence the corelation between owning property ...
^^^^^
Line 27, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...n a different town and is thus very far.It is also possible that the study was ta...
^^
Line 28, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...king of music styles might have changed.For example, currently EDMElectronic Dance...
^^^
Line 29, column 47, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tly EDMElectronic Dance and Music is the most popular music style in my country o...
^^
Line 32, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...society are still intrigued by jazz. Hence the author needs to answer so many othe...
^^^^^
Line 33, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... before thinking of establishing a music Thus the generalization made by author ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, regarding, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2450.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 497.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92957746479 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61882957105 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505030181087 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 124.289592857 57.8364921388 215% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 111.363636364 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5909090909 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.09090909091 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 29.0 5.15768463074 562% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241494899717 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0622398975682 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543425639781 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0625005834511 0.128457276422 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0312742718964 0.0628817314937 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 18, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...he bank. The argument is an attempt to try and convinince the respective authority to ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...here are many unanswered question whose answer might be convincing enough to not...
^^
Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
...ns of Monroe are passionate about jazz.On what basis was the radio show rated? Is...
^^
Line 7, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... rating based solely on number of people listening to the radio statio? For examp...
^^^
Line 9, column 116, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ning to the radio station as compared to other shows that might be interesting bu...
^^^
Line 10, column 84, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ight be on weekdays and at odd timings. Therefore the authors generaliztaion is very vag...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 61, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
...jazz artisits own their house in Monroe?What might be other reasons for persuading ...
^^^^
Line 15, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...roe? Do they even stay in these houses? Because only a fraction of the popular jazz ar...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 50, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ring plant in the region nearby Monroe. Hence the corelation between owning property ...
^^^^^
Line 27, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...n a different town and is thus very far.It is also possible that the study was ta...
^^
Line 28, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...king of music styles might have changed.For example, currently EDMElectronic Dance...
^^^
Line 29, column 47, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tly EDMElectronic Dance and Music is the most popular music style in my country o...
^^
Line 32, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...society are still intrigued by jazz. Hence the author needs to answer so many othe...
^^^^^
Line 33, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... before thinking of establishing a music Thus the generalization made by author ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, regarding, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2450.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 497.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92957746479 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61882957105 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505030181087 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 124.289592857 57.8364921388 215% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 111.363636364 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5909090909 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.09090909091 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 29.0 5.15768463074 562% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241494899717 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0622398975682 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543425639781 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0625005834511 0.128457276422 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0312742718964 0.0628817314937 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.