"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
In this argument essay the author states that a Jazz music club would make a vast profit. Supporting this claim he states that currently the only nearest club is 65 miles apart from the Monroe city and by opening a jazz club in Monroe would likely to attract the local market. Author provides an evidence that of about 100000 people attended the Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer and also jazz music is more popular in this city. In addition to this several well known jazz musicians live in Monroe. Thus the above stated assumptions by the author sums up to conclude that a jazz music club in Monroe is a profitable factor. But in order to conclude this there are some questions which needed to be answered.
Firstly, the author states that around 100000 people attended the Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer, but author fails to state whether the people belong to the same Monroe city or they were apart from the Monroe city. If a minimum no. of fans who attended the festival are from the different city then it is likely to go with author’s claim. Author needs to provide more evidence to support his claim that the jazz music is more popular in Monroe. It might be that the local population of the city Monroe are less likely to get incline towards the jazz music and more inclined towards another music genre.
Secondly, authors states that several well known jazz musician live in Monroe. It may be possible that these musicians are there because of some another reasons. Such as because of the better infrastructure of the city, convenient of the city to their workplace or it might be because of the suitable weather of the city. Author also provides a nation wide survey that on an average a jazz fan spends around $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. This claim is insufficient to conclude regarding a vast profit for a newly established club in Monroe. The study provided is a nation wide survey which fails to mention the expenditure particularly made by a local crowd of the Monroe city. What if the city is suffering from poverty? Are the local able to spend on an average 1000 on jazz club.
If we assume that a new jazz club is established in the city of Monroe which includes a lot of spending on infrastructure and various services for the onlookers; then in order to gain profit from the club it is necessary to first gain the expended cost which might take a particular period. And during this period, if a new music style becomes trending then it less likely to gain a profit for the jazz club. Claim concerned with the radio program aired every weekend is a bit doubted. As because there might be possibility that the people are just turning on the radios and busy in their own work. The here arises that how many of them are actually enjoying the jazz music air every weekend.
Thus the above stated fallacy weaken the authors claim. In order to come up for a solution author needs to overcome the above stated fallacies.
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- "A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popul 55
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. 'the highest-rated radio program' doesn't mean it has a lot of audiences.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2398 1500
No. of Different Words: 219 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.542 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.304 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.12 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.844 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 514, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ll known jazz musicians live in Monroe. Thus the above stated assumptions by the aut...
^^^^
Line 2, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...they were apart from the Monroe city. If a minimum no. of fans who attended the f...
^^
Line 2, column 310, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the festival are from the different city then it is likely to go with author&apos...
^^
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...her of the city. Author also provides a nation wide survey that on an average a jazz fan sp...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...club in Monroe. The study provided is a nation wide survey which fails to mention the expen...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ying the jazz music air every weekend. Thus the above stated fallacy weaken the aut...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, apart from, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2454.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 528.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64772727273 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42432528267 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410984848485 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 783.9 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.6288368808 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.3846153846 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3076923077 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.19230769231 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37287359931 0.218282227539 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112172955818 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100089038984 0.0701772020484 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210646570081 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131118055327 0.0628817314937 209% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.69 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.