"The Mozart School of Music should obviously be the first choice of any music student aware of its reputation. First of all, the Mozart School stresses intensive practice and training, so that students typically begin their training at a very young age. Second, the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, and its faculty includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the best known and most highly paid musicians in the nation."
The author here suggests Mozart School of Music should be the first choice of any music students based on certain past records of the school and the stress intensive practice in the school, which results one to be a great musician; however, the claim of author can be unwarranted as it is basedon some superficial assumptions without complete research.
Firstly, the author assumes that stress intensive practice and training is most important for one , to be a great musician. This assumption is however too extreme to be pragmatic in case of all the stdents. Learning process nowadays are greatly focusing on stress-free practicesfor the better mental development of child, after various psychological resarches. Let us consider a student who loves to play guitar, but the school forces him to play other equipments as well which he does not like to play impedes his learning. Stressful practice and training for a music school can be counterproductive as music is something created by a free relaxed mind.
Secondly, the author assumes that begining training a child at very young age will result in his successful career in music. Nonetheless, the claim made based on this assumption is also superficial. A child, who does know very less about the world at very young age and who has not yet developed the sense of passion should not be forced to the music school. Author claims the chid would become a great musician based on this assumption, which is unwarranted, as the child's interest on music ,later in this life, may change and might discontinue the music and go for areas of his interest.
Thirdly, the author assumes that the ample facilities and distinguished music teachers would result in being great musician. This claim is also unwarranted. Success doesn't only depends upon resources , it has great influence of self interest. Deepite having alll the resources one couldnt be successful without hardwork. If a student is torpid, the success of him as a great musician can not be warranted. Also, author assumes that the alumini of that school are successful and are best known and well paid musicians, does not warranty that the upcoming generation of students woule be popular asd well paid as their alumini. Over time , public taste of music has changed and they might notlike what they used to , before decade.
Finally, I would like to conclude that, the author's claim for The Moozart School Of Music should be the first choice, is arbitrary. More research is indeed required before getting into the conclusion. Some superficial assumptions for the conclusion has resulted in unwarranted claims whih can be improved with further research on student interests, modern way of teaching, and public taste of music etc.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-10 | ppratimdas | 61 | view |
| 2018-10-22 | sushant123 | 66 | view |
| 2017-02-16 | a.ksha.y | 66 | view |
| 2016-09-03 | shreya gaur | 50 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The author here suggests Mozart School of Music should be the first choice of any music students based on certain past records of the school and the stress intensive practice in the school, which results one to be a great musician; however, the claim of author can be unwarranted as it is basedon some superficial assumptions without complete research.
Error: basedon Suggestion: based
Error: unwarranted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This assumption is however too extreme to be pragmatic in case of all the stdents.
Error: stdents Suggestion: students
Sentence: Learning process nowadays are greatly focusing on stress-free practicesfor the better mental development of child, after various psychological resarches.
Error: stress-free Suggestion: stress free
Error: practicesfor Suggestion: practices
Error: resarches Suggestion: researches
Sentence: Secondly, the author assumes that begining training a child at very young age will result in his successful career in music.
Error: begining Suggestion: beginning
Sentence: Author claims the chid would become a great musician based on this assumption, which is unwarranted, as the child's interest on music ,later in this life, may change and might discontinue the music and go for areas of his interest.
Error: chid Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Deepite having alll the resources one couldnt be successful without hardwork.
Error: hardwork Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: alll Suggestion: ally
Error: couldnt Suggestion: count
Sentence: Also, author assumes that the alumini of that school are successful and are best known and well paid musicians, does not warranty that the upcoming generation of students woule be popular asd well paid as their alumini.
Error: asd Suggestion: ad
Error: woule Suggestion: would
Error: alumini Suggestion: alumni
Sentence: Over time , public taste of music has changed and they might notlike what they used to , before decade.
Error: notlike Suggestion: notice
Sentence: Some superficial assumptions for the conclusion has resulted in unwarranted claims whih can be improved with further research on student interests, modern way of teaching, and public taste of music etc.
Error: whih Suggestion: which
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2232 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.927 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.314 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e and training is most important for one , to be a great musician. This assumption...
^^
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rranted, as the childs interest on music ,later in this life, may change and might...
^^
Line 7, column 166, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...This claim is also unwarranted. Success doesnt only depends upon resources , it has gr...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 200, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ccess doesnt only depends upon resources , it has great influence of self interest...
^^
Line 7, column 282, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
.... Deepite having alll the resources one couldnt be successful without hardwork. If a st...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 636, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...sd well paid as their alumini. Over time , public taste of music has changed and t...
^^
Line 7, column 713, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...and they might notlike what they used to , before decade. Finally, I would lik...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2292.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 452.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07079646018 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72736494523 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504424778761 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.1409867798 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.6 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.324286037784 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0922743703446 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.091614863773 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201803514059 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0819189111116 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.