"The Mozart School of Music should obviously be the first choice of any music student aware of its reputation. First of all, the Mozart School stresses intensive practice and training, so that students typically begin their training at a very young age. Second, the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, and its faculty includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the best known and most highly paid musicians in the nation."
As stated in this passage, The Mozart School should be the first choice for parents to establish their children as good musicians. However, the assumptions which were taken for granted in this are not totally error-free, rather these may actually come out negative in terms of learning music and be a good musician.
Firstly, The Mozart School has no audition or eligibility check for taking any of its students which might seem good for the students at the first glance but unfortunately the results may not be good in myriad of cases. For instance, it welcomes youngsters from all age levels together. We know that the mental growth and maturity depends largely on individual's age. If we want to teach the same thing to a 10 year old and a 5 year old, the results will not be the same. A typical learning system may be adequate for a 10 year old, but that can be devastating for someone of 5 years. So mixing different age levels' students will lead the teaching system to a haphazard and should not bring any good. If the school could sort students by age and then teach them according to their certain age level, the system should have worked well.
Moreover, the school accepts students at all ability levels. It has some adverse effects on the students who might not want to learn music at the first place. For example, a child may have much interest on sports like football, etc, but his parents may want him to learn music. This behaviour is much common these days from the perspective of the competitive mind of the parents. So, one child having no interest on music will be bound to learn music. Music is a form of art which must be learnt by heart, it is not some mathematical equations or a book of history which everyone can grasp. Besides, all the children do not have the ability to learn music. It may be right that no one has learnt music from the womb of his mother, but there are certain parts of genetic of physical factors which play important role in determining which form of art or study will suit a particular child. So, admitting children ranging from no ability to high ability, can be disastrous to the particular children who have no ability or interest in music. With signs of extreme competition, they may lag behind those who are well capable of learning music. In this prospect, it can be said that, The Mozart School, by taking students from all ability and age levels without any pre-assessment, put enough pressure on the weak students and make their life quite miserable. To eliminate this issue, the school should take students after running a primary evaluation of students regarding their ability to grasp musical learning and then sort out the selected students according to their age groups.
Secondly, the school offers instruction in various types of instruments and genre of music. As a novice music learner, if the school attempts to teach all the forms, one will face immense hardship to learn them. Besides, if one has some interest of Classical music, and he is bound to learn Rock music, it may counter on its primary issue. For this, the school should introduce instruments and genre to its student according to the students' choice and demands. The question may be risen, how a tyro can know which instrument or genre he should like and learn. To expunge this problem, The Mozart School can bring on different seminars or demo classes on all of the instruments and genre of music stating the basics of all. Then one can choose a specific form of music to learn and the results will be better.
Thirdly,the assumption is, the faculty includes distinguished musicians of the era which galvanizes the parents to put their children in the school to become somewhat great like them. But the thing doesn't work like that at all. It is not necessary that a good musician will be a good teacher. For example, the mentor of famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar was Ramanayaka who was not much of an established cricket of that era, still he produced a cricketer like Sachin. And a famous bowler like Courtney Walsh, who was the best of his time, is not passing good time as a coach of a national cricket team. So, depending only on the faculty is not a straightforward shortcut to success of a youngster. A youngster needs a motivational mentor who can teach him music according to the requirements, the mentor must not be an established one. Rather, the parents should find a school which has good teachers of music, not a school with distinguished musicians.
Finally, as history suggests many Mozart graduates have shine in life in music sector. But this does not actually suggest, it should be the first choice for sending your child to it. The successful people have reached that position by virtue of their hard work and passion in which Mozart School might worked as an appurtenant, but other schools may act like the same if a child has the passion and love enough for music. And if this is true, he can be great too without attending Mozart School.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-10 | ppratimdas | 61 | view |
| 2018-10-22 | sushant123 | 66 | view |
| 2017-02-16 | a.ksha.y | 66 | view |
| 2016-09-03 | shreya gaur | 50 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
it only said that '...so that students typically begin their training at a very young age.', it didn't say with different level or ability in same class.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 40 15
No. of Words: 881 350
No. of Characters: 4025 1500
No. of Different Words: 336 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.448 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.569 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.464 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 272 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 193 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 122 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.025 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.636 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.444 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 655, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...n different seminars or demo classes on all of the instruments and genre of music stating ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...d the results will be better. Thirdly,the assumption is, the faculty includes dis...
^^^^
Line 9, column 199, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...somewhat great like them. But the thing doesnt work like that at all. It is not necess...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, besides, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, well, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 40.0 12.9520958084 309% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 32.0 11.1786427146 286% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 108.0 55.5748502994 194% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4131.0 2260.96107784 183% => OK
No of words: 879.0 441.139720559 199% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69965870307 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.44499165846 4.56307096286 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53356112004 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 349.0 204.123752495 171% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.397042093288 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1242.0 705.55239521 176% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 21.0 8.76447105788 240% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 40.0 19.7664670659 202% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3238263649 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.275 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.975 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 25.0 8.20758483034 305% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344449223605 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0972039346347 0.0743258471296 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070022005651 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204797002355 0.128457276422 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0520693682275 0.0628817314937 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 48.3550499002 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 161.0 98.500998004 163% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.