In a letter to the editor of a scientific journal, it is stated that birth order has an effect on an individual’s levels of stimulation. The author has come to this conclusion based on the undue assumptions that the firstborn infant of monkey produce more the hormone cortisol in a stimulating situation than their siblings as well as when monkey’s mother is pregnant for the first time, it has a higher level of cortisol than afterward. However, before the author’s contention can be properly evaluated, three assumptions must be examined.
first of all, the author prematurely assumes that because the firstborn monkey produces more cortisol than their younger sisters and brothers, this difference in cortisol will follow according to the birth order. It is possible that this difference in cortisol’s production exists only in the firstborn monkey and all other siblings make almost the same when they encounter with stimulation. If this scenario has merit, the conclusion drawn on the original argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, the argument claims without warranted that the level of cortisol’s production is a good indicator of the level’s of stimulation. However, it might not be a case. Perhaps, when a mother is pregnant for the first time the amount of this hormone is significantly bigger than the next time pregnancy happens for some protection of a child, so the amount of the cortisol is higher in firstborn monkey and in the stimulating situation this factor plays a role to produce more hormone. If the above is true, the argument does not hold water.
Finally, the argument presumes, without justification, that results that are provided through studying on eighteen rhesus monkeys make enough evidence. It is conceivable that these monkeys have a lot of dissimilarities to other animals or humans. Furthermore, there is a probability that these selected monkeys have some characteristics that are not common even among their species and these characteristics provide the clues for author conclusion. Therefore, if these possibilities are authentic, the deduction of the author will impugn.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stated now, is flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. if the author of the letter is able to provide more evidence and correct the three aforementioned assumptions, then it will be possible to fully assess the viability of the effect of birth order on the levels of the individual’s simulation.
- A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys 24
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 2031 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.142 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.96 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.747 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...three assumptions must be examined. first of all, the author prematurely assumes ...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 106, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ts reliance on unwarranted assumptions. if the author of the letter is able to pro...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2120.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 395.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36708860759 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.24714904597 2.78398813304 117% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470886075949 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 665.1 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 80.6483251144 57.8364921388 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.5 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6875 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.875 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316553024467 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0917730309963 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0911879858508 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163881334118 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0709212693593 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.