"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument claims that the effects of birth order affects an individual's level of stimulation. Author is trying to prove his point through the studies done on monkeys and through other facts found in human beings. But, stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion relies on assumptions, for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that humans and monkeys are similar medically, but it's not so always. This is the reason why most of the drug tests are performed on rats but not on monkeys. Also, the argument would have been stronger if the relation between human and monkey could be established in study of hormonal systems or he could have presented a study based on living beings.
Secondly, the study is performed on just eighteen monkeys, which is far too less in number. Also, it's again not mentioned the conditions in which the monkeys were living example their habitat, the season in which they gave birth to the offspring. Studies performed in different conditions have different results. It's not mentioned in argument whether the conditions of all the monkeys were same or different. All these have a huge impact on hormones of any living being.
Final argument establishes a relation between conditions of mother's pregnancy to cortisol levels of the offspring: first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol and hence argument say that firstborn infant monkeys produce more cortisol, this relation is vague as we have seen that pregnancy conditions have little to no effect on a living being, In fact, at times premature babies and up being stronger than others.
In summary, the argument is flawed and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors.
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flaws:
not right on the point.
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-appeared-part-letter-ed…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
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