"Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine."
The argument that changing butter with margarine, ensured by having only 2 percent of customer who complained as well as having not the ability to diagnose the change, will lead to a little impact on Happy Pancake restaurant’s customer, may seem logical at firt glance. However, the conclusion is based on some assumption that are not provided with enough support.
First of all, the writer assumes that since only 2% of the consumers were not satisfied with the change of butter with margarine, the rest of customers are happy with the event. This assumption could not be true because it is highly likely that those who has not complained about this change, are not still aware of it. So, this weaken the conclusion by the writer which is based on his mentioned assumption. Furthermore, it is not clear that how they measured this rate of satisfaction. The writer conclusion would be strengthened if he presented a detail information of a survey made by the costumers accompanying with their awareness of the change.
It is certainly the case that one of significant terms of serving people is mutual trust. The writer conclusion is based on assumption that would not clarify this. Therefore, assuming that this change continues and one day people figure out the change. If this is the case, people lose trust not only to this change but also become skeptic about other food served by this restaurant. As a result this would surely decrease tremendously restaurant revenue.
Finally, the assumption that since the costumer will not diagnose the difference of margarine and butter, we can do it with no side effect can not be fair. This is the patent of the people to know what they are served. Because food health is of paramount importance that everybody cares about it.
In conclusion, the writer assumption that changing butter with margarine would only have little impact on their customer may partly be true. However, he must provide evidences such as holding survey of costumers about the change as well as informing them about it. Moreover if he does not do this. People’s trust would damage greatly due to significance of food health..
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those who has not complained
those who have not complained
Sentence: The argument that changing butter with margarine, ensured by having only 2 percent of customer who complained as well as having not the ability to diagnose the change, will lead to a little impact on Happy Pancake restaurant's customer, may seem logical at firt glance.
Error: firt Suggestion: fire
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
The argument 2 and 3 are like arguments in issue essays.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1743 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.815 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.578 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.139 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5