The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase.".....
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that declining of birthday rat in the city Calatrava, ensured by having lower student in the future and as a result lower fund needed for their educational systems will lead to excessive budget to fund for city facilities and programs primarily used by adults may seems logical at first glance. However the writer’s conclusion is based on some assumption that is not provided with supportive evidence.
First of all, the writer assumes that the number of birthrate decreased 50 percent comparing to five years ago and as a result the needed budget for the educationl system would diminish claiming the declining of students number. This can be a irrational premise because the process of planning budget is ten-year. so, the reduced student will be approximately 10 years old if they were born. The writer provides no evidence demonstrating that how much would be proportion of teenager budget out of the whole budget for the educational system. If it was less, there would not be noticeable fund for adult recreational system.
Moreover, as mentioned above, the decrease group of student would be ultimately 10 years. Hence, this means that they are teenagers that are not intended to play as an athletic or even utilize recreational reinforcement. So These are entertainment for adults that needs its own fund. Therefore, This would weaken the evidence that writer claims about reducing budget for athletic playing field and recreational facilities .moreover the amount of budget needed for providing infrastructure for recreational entertainment is high. Therefore, the writer must present statistics stating the detailed figures.
In conclusion, the writer assumption needs some evidence to support his conclusion as following, indicating the exact budget being specified by the committee for the elementary educational system as well as clarifying the correlation between the reduced budget and fund needed for adult entertainment like playing fields.
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This can be a irrational premise
This can be an irrational premise
Sentence: The argument that declining of birthday rat in the city Calatrava, ensured by having lower student in the future and as a result lower fund needed for their educational systems will lead to excessive budget to fund for city facilities and programs primarily used by adults may seems logical at first glance.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to may and seems
Sentence: First of all, the writer assumes that the number of birthrate decreased 50 percent comparing to five years ago and as a result the needed budget for the educationl system would diminish claiming the declining of students number.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and number
Sentence: If it was less, there would not be noticeable fund for adult recreational system.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to adult and recreational
Sentence: First of all, the writer assumes that the number of birthrate decreased 50 percent comparing to five years ago and as a result the needed budget for the educationl system would diminish claiming the declining of students number.
Error: educationl Suggestion: education
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 308 350
No. of Characters: 1634 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.189 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.883 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.573 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5