Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity..
The speaker unreasonably concludes that the use of stairs increases people's health and longevity.The statement provided is irrational,unsubstantial.Unless provides the clear information with analysis about the people using stairs and the number of people using elevators and related statistics this argument can't be a cogent argument.
Firstly,the speaker fails to give the information about the recent study which he refers to.How did the studies provide a link between health and stairs usage?
The recently completed study refers in months or years?.On what basis did the study explain about people who live in stairs-only buildings without elevators like longer than three years on average when compared to the one's using elevator and also stairs.It can't be proved that all the people use elevator some might prefer upstairs.Such details could add a requisite information to support the argument.
Secondly,The speaker has to clearly stated data about the study where the numbers of residents visiting the doctors in both the cases.This could give us a clear idea on an average who is more consulting the doctors.If the exact number is not provided how can the average be calculated.The term several doctors refers to how many numbers?The residents of stair-only buildings scores are calculated on what basis?The health conditions such as fitness,sleep quality are taken only by the patients who visit the hospital what about the one's which do not ever visit?How can the speaker come to a conclusion that they scored the higher than the average when there is no detailed number of patients.
Thirdly,The term susceptibility to injury refers to what kind of injury?is it because of the stairs or due to elevators if so what kind of injuries are faced by the people.And also the patients are of same age or each of different ages is also not mentioned.How can the speaker conclude that people who use stairs are healthy and what if the most of the people use stairs instead of elevators still are unhealthy.There can be a chance that only elders are allowed to use the elevators rest all people use stairs.As it is not mentioned clearly such kind of details add an advantage to support the argument.
To sum up,As there is no detailed information on the number of people using the stair case and elevators and the age group of patients who visit doctors who rated the health status.Henceforth,such details would help the argument more eloquent and as the speaker failed to give such requisite information this argument can't be deemed to be persuasive.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2109 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.462 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 55.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.188 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.488 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.8 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.203 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... increases peoples health and longevity.The statement provided is irrational,unsubs...
^^^
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , unsubstantial
...ity.The statement provided is irrational,unsubstantial.Unless provides the clear information w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 149, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Unless
...nt provided is irrational,unsubstantial.Unless provides the clear information with ana...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 309, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...rs and related statistics this argument cant be a cogent argument. Firstly,the sp...
^^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...nt cant be a cogent argument. Firstly,the speaker fails to give the information a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: How
...out the recent study which he refers to.How did the studies provide a link between ...
^^^
Line 4, column 56, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
...pleted study refers in months or years?.On what basis did the study explain about ...
^^
Line 4, column 254, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...the ones using elevator and also stairs.It cant be proved that all the people use ...
^^
Line 4, column 257, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... ones using elevator and also stairs.It cant be proved that all the people use eleva...
^^^^
Line 4, column 257, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'cants'?
Suggestion: cants
... ones using elevator and also stairs.It cant be proved that all the people use eleva...
^^^^
Line 4, column 332, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Such
...use elevator some might prefer upstairs.Such details could add a requisite informati...
^^^^
Line 6, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
...ion to support the argument. Secondly,The speaker has to clearly stated data abou...
^^^^
Line 6, column 135, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... visiting the doctors in both the cases.This could give us a clear idea on an averag...
^^^^
Line 6, column 216, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...rage who is more consulting the doctors.If the exact number is not provided how ca...
^^
Line 6, column 216, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rage who is more consulting the doctors.If the exact number is not provided how ca...
^^
Line 6, column 286, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...vided how can the average be calculated.The term several doctors refers to how many...
^^^
Line 6, column 338, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...eral doctors refers to how many numbers?The residents of stair-only buildings score...
^^^
Line 6, column 412, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ngs scores are calculated on what basis?The health conditions such as fitness,sleep...
^^^
Line 6, column 412, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ngs scores are calculated on what basis?The health conditions such as fitness,sleep...
^^^
Line 6, column 449, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , sleep
...is?The health conditions such as fitness,sleep quality are taken only by the patients ...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 562, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: How
... about the ones which do not ever visit?How can the speaker come to a conclusion th...
^^^
Line 8, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
... detailed number of patients. Thirdly,The term susceptibility to injury refers to...
^^^^
Line 8, column 173, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: And
...ind of injuries are faced by the people.And also the patients are of same age or ea...
^^^
Line 8, column 259, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: How
...of different ages is also not mentioned.How can the speaker conclude that people wh...
^^^
Line 8, column 414, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...nstead of elevators still are unhealthy.There can be a chance that only elders are al...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 513, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...he elevators rest all people use stairs.As it is not mentioned clearly such kind o...
^^
Line 8, column 513, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he elevators rest all people use stairs.As it is not mentioned clearly such kind o...
^^
Line 10, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , As
...ge to support the argument. To sum up,As there is no detailed information on the...
^^^
Line 10, column 182, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Henceforth
...sit doctors who rated the health status.Henceforth,such details would help the argument mo...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 192, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , such
...s who rated the health status.Henceforth,such details would help the argument more el...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 319, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...uch requisite information this argument cant be deemed to be persuasive.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, as to, kind of, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2150.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 417.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15587529976 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14162227178 2.78398813304 113% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.455635491607 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 676.8 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 69.0 22.8473053892 302% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 177.401067891 57.8364921388 307% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 358.333333333 119.503703932 300% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 69.5 23.324526521 298% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 18.6666666667 5.70786347227 327% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 31.0 5.25449101796 590% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336671856987 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.193034193558 0.0743258471296 260% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0976511316745 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193034193558 0.128457276422 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0976511316745 0.0628817314937 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 37.6 14.3799401198 261% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 1.44 48.3550499002 3% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 30.2 12.197005988 248% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.83 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.58 8.32208582834 127% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 29.6 11.1389221557 266% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 30.0 11.9071856287 252% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.