There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of this prompt hypothesizes that inhabitants of smaller cities (e.g. Leeville) lead more relaxed lifestyles; as a result, the residents live longer and are healthier. Indeed smaller cities may carry the stigma of being leisurely, but the writer relies on abstract deductions from generalized statements to embolden his/her point. Supporting statements must be insightful and factual.
One of the supporting arguments for the case of healthier citizens in Leeville was their average age juxtaposed to their urban counterparts in Masontown. While the age was higher, the assumption relies on the basis that average age correlates with average life span. This is a fellatious presumption as it does not relate to the health of citizens. Citygoers may hold longer life spans than their small city constituents. Alternatively, this data point shows that the average inhabitant of Leeville is older than Masontown. This is not uncommon as more young adults are opting to live in urban centers. Cities are notorious for better nightlife, longer hours and more activities. Recent college grads flock to larger cities in search for a fun, active lifestyle. Leeville may boast a longer life expectancy, which would point towards healthier lifestyles, but the average age of it's citizens does not directly support such a claim.
Further, the writer argues that Leeville only has one physicians per one thousand residents (compared to Masonton's number which is five times higher). Perhaps incorrectly, this leads the reader to believe that less doctors are necessary. Leeville may be understaffed in the medical field, forcing residents to drive to neighboring cities for the support they need. Also, Masonton likely has a larger concentration of unique ailments. Doctors with particular specialties will find more business working in city centers such as Masonton. As stated in the paragraph above, college grads tend to migrate to cities after graduation. The same applies to doctors. Many will do research in a large, urban hospital in hopes of potentially working full-time. The lack of physicians in Leeville may correlate with better health, but without meaningful facts to support the statement, it is indeterminable.
Lastly, the author argues that the workers in Leeville report fewer sick days than that of Masonton. He/she points out that Leeville is a smaller town. If Leeville is rural than the majority of workers may be sustainence farmers. Sustainence farmers can not afford to take sick days because if they don't work, they don't eat. Alternatively, carcinogens and ailments can spread much faster in concentrated areas such as an urban city. In that regard, smaller cities fare much better. This may point to more short-term illnesses, but does not support anything regarding long-term health.
Many may agree that smaller towns lead more laid back lifestyles that are less stressful. Irregardless, the author does not elaborate well enough on his/her points to effectively argue this case.
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| 2023-08-12 | okazaki11 | 73 | view |
| 2023-06-14 | weonalaz | 78 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 177, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...esidents live longer and are healthier. Indeed smaller cities may carry the stigma of ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun doctors is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
..., this leads the reader to believe that less doctors are necessary. Leeville may be ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ts out that Leeville is a smaller town. If Leeville is rural than the majority of ...
^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...fford to take sick days because if they dont work, they dont eat. Alternatively, car...
^^^^
Line 7, column 316, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ck days because if they dont work, they dont eat. Alternatively, carcinogens and ail...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much may', 'a good deal of may'.
Suggestion: Much may; A good deal of may
...nything regarding long-term health. Many may agree that smaller towns lead more laid...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, e.g., if, lastly, may, regarding, so, well, while, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2542.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.37420718816 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82251545836 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522198731501 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 776.7 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.1906832701 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.7333333333 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7666666667 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.73333333333 5.70786347227 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.67664670659 321% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142809492602 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0379719261216 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0431514301712 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0755625062843 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462556116645 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.57 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.