The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The vice president recommends monitoring employee’s internet usage to increase profit at Climpson. The vice president further supports his claim with a plan of installing software so that the management can get hold of the employee who are wasting time during their work works. The argument though appears a perfect plan at first glance is based on many gaps and unwarranted assumptions for which no substantial evidence is present. Hence, the argument is weak and fails to serve the purpose.
Firstly, the argument readily accepts the fact that the employees of Climpson are using the internet during the entire working hour; however, no proof of the same has been provided. Climpson might be a construction company where all the work takes place on-site and employees use the internet only for approving or submitting their designs and prototype. In this case, an employee absence on the internet can not be considered that the employee is not working. The result generated by the internet usage monitoring system will fail in the above case. If the vice-president had provided the working requirement in Climpson, it would have bolstered the plan further.
In addition to this, it seems that employees of Climpson have no issue in the company installing a software that captures their internet usage. The argument stated in this way again fails to furnish any verifiable proof. The employees might be looking at the proposal with disdain. The plan is a privacy breach of the employees and it is of utmost importance that the employees approve of this act before the software being installed onto their computer. If the employees do not agree with the rules it will lead to dissatisfaction among employees, which will further reduce their productivity. The vice president needs to be assured that there is an employee’s consent to this law.
Finally, the argument states that the employee internet usage will be monitored using software; whereas it is nowhere mentioned that the software has been previously tested and is bug-free. The software might be reporting distorted results for its users. To illustrate it is possible that the software captures wrongly and is set to always result in a shopping website in its result. These results might hamper the entire plan and it will result in the company making the wrong management decision. Climpson might punish its most hard-working employee which will lead to great resentment among the employee. Therefore, the company needs to first assure that the software is bug-free and a proper testing procedure needs to be followed.
To sum up, the vice president claims of making Climpson profitable by punishing employees who waste their time at the workplace can backfire if a more incisive research is not carried out. The argument needs to provide information regarding the kind of company they are and are the people willing to share their internet usage history. The argument also needs to make sure that the software is error and bug-free. Without answers to these questions, the plan is full of flaws and is not ready to be implemented at this stage.
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Comments
e-rater score report
out of topic
--------------------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 512 350
No. of Characters: 2553 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.757 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.986 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.628 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 157 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 113 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.48 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.765 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.302 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 279, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e wasting time during their work works. The argument though appears a perfect plan ...
^^^
Line 3, column 283, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e looking at the proposal with disdain. The plan is a privacy breach of the employe...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, regarding, so, therefore, whereas, in addition, kind of, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2603.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.083984375 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70293800722 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46484375 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 794.7 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.7642196049 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.12 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.48 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28872075923 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0938911296279 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0818779004314 0.0701772020484 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190860660567 0.128457276422 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0624163525429 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.