The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries claims that the implementation of electronic monitoring will increase productivity and profits in the company. While the argument may have some merit, the argument is not cogent enough to validate its conclusion. The argument is rifed with unstated assumptions. If the assumptions prove unwarranted, then the argument is unsubstantiated and is in need for correction.
Firstly, the author assumes that internet usage is related to productivity. The author argues that internet access causes employees to use their work hours in order to engage in personal and recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. While this may be the reason for why productivity at work is low, the assumption proves unwarranted. Other factors may contribute to productivity, such as lack of sleep or not eating a proper meal for breakfast and lunch. These factors can cause employees to feel lethargic at work. Therefore, the implementation of an electronic monitoring system does not necessarily mean that it will increase the productivity of employees. Hence, the author may not benefit from the implementation.
Secondly, the author assumes that the implementation of the software on computers will prevent time wasted on personal and recreational usage. The author relies on the assumption that employees spend more time at work for personal and recreational use through computer and internet access. However, even if the software was implemented, it does not necessarily prevent employees from accessing the internet for personal usage. Employees who have access to the internet on their phones may turn to their smartphone devices at work instead. Therefore, the implementation of the software would not work. The author must put cameras in place or perhaps a manager on sight in order to ensure whether employees are distracted or not.
Lastly, the author assumes that profits will increase with the implementation of the software. The author relies on the mere implication that employees will become more focused in completing their jobs and enhance profits in the company. However, even if employees were no longer distracted and their work ethic improves, it does not necessarily indicate improved overall profits. Perhaps, an economic crash were to happen and profits did not improve. Or, consumers may stop purchasing products from Climpson Industries due to a competing company that has better prices. Therefore, the assumption may not hold merit in the argument, since other factors can influence the profit of a company.
In conclusion, the argument is abounded with unstated assumptions. Unless the author provides substantial evidence and addressed the assumptions, then the argument fails.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2285 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.972 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.04 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.582 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.315 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 729, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hether employees are distracted or not. Lastly, the author assumes that profits ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2341.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.49530516432 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06891195559 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469483568075 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 724.5 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3151752084 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.64 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.04 23.324526521 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25020022346 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676452050567 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0783101135665 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127343667915 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0644323454249 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.32 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.