"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But 80 percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
The president and the director of the alumnae association have opposing views on whether the all-female school should begin accepting male students. However, they both must answer the following question to make their arguments more convincing.
The president claims that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. But do Grove college have differences in other schools? If it is same to other schools which are coeducation, accepting male students indeed not only can enhance enrollment but also let students have chance to know how to communicate with males and females; but if it is a unique school which educates students who are afraid to male or their culture forbid them to meet with male students, it is not suitable for school to accept male students.
In contrast to the president, the director cites annual surveys and states that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college. An assumption here is that whether these “annual surveys” have credentials to adopt or not. However, the credentials of this annual survey are not presented. We rarely know about the number of data in this survey and how do these surveys carry out. If the data only 1 percent of incoming students, these surveys are not completely representativeness of students’ opinion, which may be most of the students are willing to accept male students to make their campus life have different experiences. And if the person who is responsible for these surveys just roughly collects the dataset when students can’t wait to end the class so that answer the question carelessly, its survey is not likely accurate.
Now turn to the survey of Grove alumnae that the majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female. However, they need to purpose some advantage of keeping the college all female. Due to the decline of the fertility rate, single-sex schools have decreased in order to resolve the decrease of enrollment. Moreover, many people have started to promote the advantage of coeducation such as more communication between boys and girls. Therefore, the alumnae of Grove have to propose some advantage to convince opponents to accept the concept of all-female.
Moreover, the directors only cite these surveys of incoming students and alumnae. But current students must be asked whether they regret choosing the all-female college. Also, the faculty of the school must be asked to see if they agree with changing the cherished tradition. Their opinions should definitely take into consideration, and not ignored in favor of the opinions of naïve college freshman or alumni who are not likely to visit the school again.
If the above recommendation can be absorbed by the president and the director, their arguments will be more convincing.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2307 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.081 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.963 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.3 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 554, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ble for school to accept male students. In contrast to the president, the direct...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, in contrast, such as, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2373.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 454.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2268722467 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83376015011 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482378854626 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 750.6 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.1837993051 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.0 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.619047619 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.28571428571 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148702645755 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0476485731542 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0315286709579 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0742928724395 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0214752714057 0.0628817314937 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.