Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The writer contends that living in a small town promotes better health and greater longevity than living in a big city. The writer proclaims that one’s statement is reasonable because of fewer days of sickness, higher percentage of physicians and higher average age of small town. however, there are some logical fallacies that the writer didn’t examine profoundly.
The writer used the statistics of comparing the small town of Leeville and the nearby large city of Masonton to confirm one’s statement. however, there is no reasonable data that Leeville or Masonton is the representative of the small town or the big city. also, it is not informed whether the life of Leeville is relaxed or the life of Masonton is hectic. To strengthen the statement, the writer should provide sufficient amount of data for a group of small towns which living is peaceful and a group of big cities which living is busy.
The writer concluded that living in a small town is more healthy because people staying at Leeville get fewer days of sickness and less percentage of physicians. however, the writer neglected the possibility that different kind of diseases are occurring in each cities. For instance, If citizens in Masonton usually catch a cold, which could be easily observed and the citizens in leeville have a unique disease which is difficult to identify and die quickly after the symptom of the disease occurs, living in Leeville won’t mean promoting better health. To use the data for the support of the conclusion, the writer should examine what kind of diseases that each city’s people get into and check its severeness.
The writer also concluded that living in a small town could provide greater longevity because the average age of the Leeville is higher than Masonton. however, the writer neglect the possibility of immigrants that moved to Leeville or Masonton. The reason why the average age of Leeville is higher could be the elder immigrating to Leeville. also, the average age of Masonton could be lower because the main industry of Masonton is focused on certain range of age such as start-ups. To make the statement unwarranted, the statistics should provide not just the average age of the whole city, but the average of citizens who lived in the city for decades, who are used to hectic or relaxed pace of life.
In conclusion, the writer should provide more scrutinized statistics to make one’s statement more valid.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 1986 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.856 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.496 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.462 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.72 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...s and higher average age of small town. however, there are some logical fallacies that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 138, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...of Masonton to confirm one’s statement. however, there is no reasonable data that Leevi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 258, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...tive of the small town or the big city. also, it is not informed whether the life of...
^^^^
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ness and less percentage of physicians. however, the writer neglected the possibility t...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 152, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...f the Leeville is higher than Masonton. however, the writer neglect the possibility of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 343, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...d be the elder immigrating to Leeville. also, the average age of Masonton could be l...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, then, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2046.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 407.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02702702703 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61865288573 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402948402948 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.0 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.8951149047 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.352941176 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9411764706 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.64705882353 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.198704293211 0.218282227539 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0824805407364 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0643365676886 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112312364833 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671979286535 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.