The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimul

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

The author of the letter is contending that an individual’s levels of stimulation varies as the birth orders differ. also, the author is specifically mentioning that the firstborn child might has higher level of stimulation. Although the argument seems quite sounding, there are several misconstrues analyzing the conclusion from the results.

first, it is unsure that the amount of rhesus monkeys which is eighteen is appropriate amount to make such an inductive conclusion. The research should have given more attention on how many groups of brother and sister monkeys are participating at the experiment, not the number of the monkeys itself. If there are nine groups of siblings which participated on the experiment, it could be told that the conclusion is quite meaningful. however, giving an extreme example when all eighteen monkeys are siblings, the the word inductive could not make any sense.

second, there are no mention of which group the first born human is compared with. At the letter, it is written as “firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels...”. The problem is there is no clue that the firstborn humans’ hormone level is high compare to whom. The corresponding group could be the second or third born humans, but it may also be firstborn infant monkeys.

Lastly, there are no direct relation between the first-time mother monkeys’ higher levels of cortisol and the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. The higher hormone status could have affected an infant when the infant was inside to mother’s womb. however, the letter didn’t mention about the possibility or certainty about the relation. also, the reason why the level of cortisol is higher when the first-time pregnancy occurs could be just because the mother monkey got used to the activity pregnancy.

To sum up, I think the letter shows weak inductive conclusion because they didn’t mention many groups of monkeys was used in the research. also, there are no specific corresponding comparison group to first-born humans. Finally, it is difficult to find the relation of hormone level between mother and her son.

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Average: 2.3 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...tion varies as the birth orders differ. also, the author is specifically mentioning ...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing the conclusion from the results. first, it is unsure that the amount of r...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...the conclusion from the results. first, it is unsure that the amount of rhesus...
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Line 5, column 436, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...hat the conclusion is quite meaningful. however, giving an extreme example when all eig...
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Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...when all eighteen monkeys are siblings, the the word inductive could not make any sense...
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Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...when all eighteen monkeys are siblings, the the word inductive could not make any sense...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... inductive could not make any sense. second, there are no mention of which gr...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...uctive could not make any sense. second, there are no mention of which group th...
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Line 9, column 399, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t may also be firstborn infant monkeys. Lastly, there are no direct relation bet...
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Line 13, column 292, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...nfant was inside to mother's womb. however, the letter didn't mention about t...
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Line 13, column 387, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...bility or certainty about the relation. also, the reason why the level of cortisol i...
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Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... got used to the activity pregnancy. To sum up, I think the letter shows weak...
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Line 17, column 145, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ps of monkeys was used in the research. also, there are no specific corresponding co...
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Line 17, column 198, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'groups'?
Suggestion: groups
...re no specific corresponding comparison group to first-born humans. Finally, it is di...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, lastly, may, second, so, third, i think, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1855.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3768115942 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01505847534 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501449275362 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 560.7 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.0321767002 57.8364921388 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.055555556 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1666666667 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167164347428 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574363416701 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674183310087 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0992119105903 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0471562935106 0.0628817314937 75% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 347 350
No. of Characters: 1740 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.316 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.014 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.647 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.419 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.672 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5