"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemploymen rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades.
The author uses a report to undermine a negative influence caused by corporate downsizing that those fired workers usually take years finding other suitable job, asserting that those intriguing statistical numbers are not nebulous in all cases. While the report on Elthyrian economy could noy be viewed as flawed downright, the author's assumptions concerning data given in it are tenuous and rife with holes.
Firstly, the author begins with a statement that, according to statistics from 1999 to the present indicating far more job titles were created in that span, the claim that fired workers are hard to find jobs is unfounded. Here, the author makes some unconvincing assumptions about the result of that report. The first is assuming these data is specific enough to analyze a concrete situation. A ten-year span is too long to explain a specific problem in that it could easily be influenced by extreme numbers, for example, if the first three years' number were huge enough and the decreasing trend of the last seven years is tiny enough, we could not recognize a dwindling trend just from a total span statistic, because it is macro. Moreover, such a long-term data is lagging too, just like human's birthrate. On condition that we just look at it of China for past ten years, we must be shocked by the increasing birthrate, in fact, Chinese government has noticed that young couple's willingness of birthing will be at the lowest point unprecedently. So the author fails to recognize some small aspects of those information and to take further trend into account. In addition to it, the writer also avers the unemployment rate is the lowest means the fewest people are in unemployment condition. Here, the writer could not figure out the differences between rate and number, the former one might be affected by the total number on which it based, which means, even the rate becomes smaller, if the total number burgeons, people who are unemployed, on contrary, are standing at high.
Secondly, what is discussing now is that the author indicate more than a half of these newly emerged job positions pay above-average salary to workers, and almost of them are full-time. However, no clues within such argument show the connection of explaining the gap years for fired people to find jobs, or even, on contrary, it brings some possible rationales to make people feel that long gap years for workers are reasonable, in that higher salary is wanted for everyone, including workers not unemployed but competent, making the situation more severe, for few companies would recruit a fired employee while giving up a competent person. Another possibility challenging the author's argument is that, how many jobs are suitable for those downsized workers are there in such two-thirds higher payment jobs and such majority full-time jobs? What if comparable jobs are in another one-third or are part-time? Hence, just relying on relatively correct but specifically vague data is not a precise option to support the author's idea, hence, citing more concrete statistic may be more convincing.
In a nutshell, the argument as the author stands in the passage is flawed due to the considerable paucity of solid evidence and several pieces of wishy-washy findings that are inaccurate. So the writer should abandon a way of citing macro economy numbers and fixate on something specific
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-04-11 | nimagm | 16 | view |
| 2023-04-11 | nimagm | 58 | view |
| 2023-02-21 | HSNDEK | 82 | view |
| 2022-07-04 | Soumyadip Kar | 58 | view |
| 2022-05-21 | _ashmita.upadhyay_ | 68 | view |
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- Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve 50
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 556 350
No. of Characters: 2764 1500
No. of Different Words: 284 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.856 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.971 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.789 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in it are tenuous and rife with holes. Firstly, the author begins with a statem...
^^^
Line 3, column 791, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'humans'' or 'human's'?
Suggestion: humans'; human's
...ong-term data is lagging too, just like humans birthrate. On condition that we just lo...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 974, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'couples'' or 'couple's'?
Suggestion: couples'; couple's
...inese government has noticed that young couples willingness of birthing will be at the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1104, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'those informations'?
Suggestion: this information; those informations
...ails to recognize some small aspects of those information and to take further trend into account....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed, on contrary, are standing at high. Secondly, what is discussing now is that...
^^^
Line 5, column 679, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...on. Another possibility challenging the authors argument is that, how many jobs are sui...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1019, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... is not a precise option to support the authors idea, hence, citing more concrete stati...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rete statistic may be more convincing. In a nutshell, the argument as the autho...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, while, for example, in addition, in fact, in all cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2827.0 2260.96107784 125% => OK
No of words: 556.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0845323741 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85588840946 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69385016467 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 299.0 204.123752495 146% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537769784173 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 891.9 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 99.1524110513 57.8364921388 171% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.055555556 119.503703932 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.8888888889 23.324526521 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.38888888889 5.70786347227 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151052777342 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0409946649325 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056433446534 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0889218814307 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0510703852405 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.78 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.73 8.32208582834 117% => OK
difficult_words: 162.0 98.500998004 164% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.