"The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors:
"Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over 80 percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite provider & would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now."" -
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice & the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, the world is more connected and accessible. It has only been in the last two to three decades that investing became more common and available from home, thanks to the internet, for everybody, from labourer to engineers. However investing stays a complex tasks with a lot of unknown making it very risky, specially investing on the stock market or foreign exhange market. In this newsletter, investors are being advice to invest into a satellite technology development company called Techcorporation. The information given in the conjecture seems well lay at first glance, but after looking more in depth, the assumptions lacks of stronger arguments.
Firstly, a serious investor will be septikal about investing into Techcorporation with such little information about the company. To make this assumptions stronger, the author should have at least been given data on the companu shuch as profit, name of the CEO, year of creation, different products etc...to persuade the investors of the well being of this company. This company his maybe not doing well and though direct efforts into a new field such as developed satellite technology.
Secondly, the author leave the audience without explanations as for why there wasn't any other company approved by the FTA in ten years. One might ask, no other company tried because there is no chance to compete with the current leading company? It seems that the author try to make the investor believe that this company has the ressources to be up to the task but doesn't give details to persuade the investors.
Thirdly, he should have also discuss the reason why they are starting to work on developed satellite technology. As of now it seems that this newsletter is maybe only a marketing stunt to attract investors into Techcorporation. We only now that some survey was positive to a newcomer in satellite telivision provider however not much details are given about the survey to back up the idea. If this survey was based on a great number of the population, in differents areas and with more details about the reviews, then that survey would have become a key element for investors.
To conclude, the newsletter is pretty light in amount of details to support it's main idea. If the author had given more details as we saw throught this essay, investors will have probably enough material to make a move. As of now some investors might be more suspicious of this sudden interest from Techcorporation in providing satellite telivision.
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Sentence: To make this assumptions stronger, the author should have at least been given data on the companu shuch as profit, name of the CEO, year of creation, different products etc...to persuade the investors of the well being of this company.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and assumptions
Sentence: This company his maybe not doing well and though direct efforts into a new field such as developed satellite technology.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to company and his
Sentence: It seems that the author try to make the investor believe that this company has the ressources to be up to the task but doesn't give details to persuade the investors.
Description: The fragment author try to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace try with verb, past tense
Sentence: Firstly, a serious investor will be septikal about investing into Techcorporation with such little information about the company.
Error: septikal Suggestion: special
Sentence: It seems that the author try to make the investor believe that this company has the ressources to be up to the task but doesn't give details to persuade the investors.
Error: ressources Suggestion: resources
Sentence: We only now that some survey was positive to a newcomer in satellite telivision provider however not much details are given about the survey to back up the idea.
Error: telivision Suggestion: television
Sentence: If this survey was based on a great number of the population, in differents areas and with more details about the reviews, then that survey would have become a key element for investors.
Error: differents Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: If the author had given more details as we saw throught this essay, investors will have probably enough material to make a move.
Error: throught Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: As of now some investors might be more suspicious of this sudden interest from Techcorporation in providing satellite telivision.
Error: telivision Suggestion: television
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2065 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.917 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.016 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5